♥♥Just about what I have gone through every day... So it will remind me of my life path up until now... I want to express it with words... My small brain can’t afford to keep it all... The language may 'Campur2' because it’s my diary after all... who will cares anyway??? XD♥♥

♥♥Life not always happen like you have planned.. Everyday there will be surprises happening in your life.. Treasure it.. Appreciate it.. It may not always happen.. And maybe will not happen again..♥♥


Daisypath Friendship tickers

Friday, December 14, 2012

Fourth, fifth and sixth day - Vietnam

Hello! Tertinggal laporan dalam diari selama 2 hari. Hahahaha. Hari keempat tertinggal sebab giliran saya untuk menulis laporan harian. Agak sibuk untuk menyusun kata-kata untuk dihantar kepada penganjur/Yayasan Sukarelawan Siswa. Kalau merepek, tiada masalah. Tapi kalau formal, perlu teliti dan perah otak yang hampir kering. Hari kelima tidak sempat menulis kerana internet tidak memberikan kerjasama yang diharapkan. Hahahaha. Okay, kita teruskan pada hari-hari yang telah tertinggal :)

Hari keempat
Hari pertama menghadirkan diri ke sekolah sebagai fasilitator. (Tak mampu mengaku cikgu, teruk gila. Hahaha) Agak cuak. Sebab takur nanti mengamuk dalam kelas. Hahahah. Kami dipecahkan kepada dua kumpulan dan saya satu kumpulan dengan Syafiq dan Na'em. Memang sesuai dengan mereka sebab mereka agak hyper dan saya agak kekok untuk mengajar. Boo! Kelas pertama, huru-hara. Kelas kedua lagi parah, saya bersendirian! Kelas ketiga momentum telah meningkat. Mampu mengendalikan kelas dengan agak lancar. Kelas keempat, bersuka-ria. Semua dalam satu kelas memang kucar-kacir. Stesen TV Ho Chi Minh datang meninjau keadaan. Iqbal dan Dibah telah ditemu ramah. Penyelia daripada Yayasan Sukarelawan Siswa datang untuk meninjau keadaan kami. Balik rumah dan dijamu dengan ikan goreng yang 'super sedap' hahahaha. Kembali ke sekolah dan menjadi fasilitator. Sehari yang sangat memenatkan. Tiada tidur petang, sakit kepala dan 'weng'. Terbaik sekali? Bila kena membuat laporan. Dan memang sangat pening menyusun ayat. Tertidur di ruang tamu dan memang memalukan sebab cara tidur memang sangat 'sparta'. huhuhuh..

Hari kelima
Bangun pagi dengan kepala yang sangat berat. Dan sambung membuat laporan yang tidak siap. Hari ini saya dengan Syafiq pergi ke sekolah rendah, dekat dengan pasar. Yeah! Dapat naik motor dengan mamat comel. Boo! Hahahahaha. Niat tidak bagus disitu.. ;) Dan lupakan seketika itu, kami sangat cuak kerana masih trauma di sekolah menengah dan tiba-tiba pindah ke sekolah rendah. Fuh! Agak kekok sebab tidak tahu macam mana hendak mengawal kanak-kanak. Tapi apa yang pasti, mereka sangat comel! Sangat! Macam rasa nak cubit. Nasib baik anak orang. Hahahaha. Kami pergi ke pasar untuk membeli barangan dapur dan kali ini memang sempat meninjau dengan lebih teliti keadaaan di pasar. Balik ke rumah dan memasak makan tengah hari untuk rakan-rakan yang balik agak lewat daripada sekolah menengah. Petang tersebut kembali semula ke sekolah rendah dan kami menggunakan pengajaran yang paling ringkas, ABC. Hahahaha. Dan pada hari ini dalam sejarah, perasaan artis yang dikerumuni peminat sangat dirasai. Budak sekolah rendah mengganas untuk meminta tandatangan. Perghhhhh. Dan sekali lagi terasa ingin mengamuk kerana sesak nafas dikerumuni kanak-kanak. Nasib baik anak orang. Hahahahaha. Balik rumah, makan, gelak ketawa di Vinh Loc B commune bersama belia, jumpa mamat comel yang hantar pagi-pagi, dan tidur awal. :P (lupa, tapi part tidur awal tu memang awal. ;) )

Hari keenam
Hari ini kembali ke sekolah menengah. Entah kenapa asyik cuak. Saya memang bukan dilahirkan untuk menjadi cikgu ni. hahahahaha. Balik tengah hari, makan dan tidur! Hahahahaha. Kalau sudah tidur, memang lupa dunia. Pergi sekolah, rutin jadi cikgu dengan kepala macam masuk angin. Petang tadi jadi artis sekejap. Tak ramai pelajar yang kenal. Petang tadi, cikgu-cikgu telah mengadakan jamuan perpisahan. Bagi saya, itu lebih kepada untuk mendapatkan respon dan ingin tahu mengenai pendapat dan pandangan kami mengenai pelajar mereka serta cadangan penambahbaikkan. Perasaan bercampur baur. Kami dapat kad daripada pelajar. Sangat comel dan terharu. :') Pulang dengan hati yang gembira. Besok kami akan ke rumah 'Heroes Mother'. Mengecat dan membaiki rumah. Pergh. Macam menarik. Petang pula akan ke pangkalan tentera, tapi rasanya hanya berada di luar kawasan. :) Sekarang, rakan yang lain hanya menonton filem "The Apple of My Eyes". Tidak berminat untuk turut serta. Lupa untuk sebut, hari ini kami hanya makan sayur. Ini kerana hari ini merupakan hari pertama dalam kalendar lunar. Ini merupakan tradisi orang Vietnam. Walaupun kurang pasti kenapa harus berbuat begitu, makan sayur memang bukan masalah besar. Tanpa daging, tiada masalah. Tanpa ikan, ok. Tanpa sayur? Sangat tidak 'best'!

P/S: Hari ini telah berjaya mengaktifkan plan BB. Yeah! Hidupku tidak lagi boring. Hahahaha. tapi masalah mungkin akan disebabkan terlalu fokus kepada BB. :P Ok la, sekian la coretan panjang-panjang ni. ;) *mungkin akan tidur awal pada malam ini juga. ;) *

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Third day - Vietnam

Dan hari ketiga telah melabuhkan tirai. Dengan muka yang sangat tidak segar, bangun pagi bukan lah aktiviti yang disukai. hahahahaha. Seawal jam 7.30am, kami telah menuju ke sekolah rendah yang ada disini (lupa nama sekolah, susah nak ingat dan sebut :P ). Berjumpa dengan kanak-kanak sekolah rendah yang bersemangat menyanyikan lagu kebangsaan Vietnam dan lagu sekolah, comel sungguh. Dengan gigih mengangkat kerusi plastik merah kecil sebagai tempat duduk semasa perhimpunan. Mereka sangat 'excited' melihat orang asing datang ke sekolah mereka. Melihat kepada kegigihan dan kegembiraan pada wajah mereka, teringat pada zaman sekolah rendah. Sangat ironi.

Kami bermesyuarat dengan cikgu sekolah mengenai jadual untuk mengajar bahasa inggeris. Setelah berbincang, kami akan mengajar atau sebenarnya lebih kepada membantu cikgu-cikgu dalam kelas mereka. Fokus kami lebih kepada membantu dalam sebutan bahasa inggeris. Bahasa Vietnam sangat unik kerana mereka mempunyai intonasi tertentu untuk menyebut perkataan dan ianya agak berbeza dengan bahasa Malaysia dan Inggeris secara amnya. Selepas itu, kami bertolak ke sekolah menengah rendah yang terletak berdekatan dengan tempat tinggal kami sekarang. Agak janggal melihat pakaian seragam yang agak berbeza yang kita biasa lihat di Malaysia, ianya agak menarik. Kami juga mendapat tahu yang pelajar akan menghadapi peperiksaan bermula daripada jumaat ini (14/12/2012), dan kami terpaksa mengatur kembali jadual aktiviti yang disediakan. Pulang kerumah pada tengah hari dan seperti biasanya, terkulai layu. Hahaha. 

Makan tengah hari yang sangat ringkas, dan selepas itu kami mula membaca buku untuk mendapat idea mengenai apa yang dipelajari oleh pelajar di sekolah dan cuba mengawal kelas bermula pada keesokkan harinya. Buku? Baca separuh dan mata macam kena gam! Pada masa tu, saya telah mencadangkan kami bermain 'heart attack'. Permainan kad yang sangat menarik dan memerlukan konsentrasi tinggi! Tapi, sikap sukar diubah. Bila sudah penat dan tiada benda untuk dilakukan, tidur lah! :P

Bangun petang, bersiap pergi menonton perlawanan bola. Hahahaha. Mampu tengok saja lah. Ahli tidak cukup. Bersorak sakan! Hahahaha. Perangai sebenar terserlah. Menyorak, menjerit, ketawa dan sebagainya. Mak cik dan penduduk sangat 'sempoi', semua boleh bergurau senda dan sangat gembira dalam kehidupan mereka. *sekurang-kurangnya yang saya boleh nampak*

Malam? Makan malam juga sangat ringkas. Kami banyak berbincang mengenai modul yang akan di gunakan esok dan sampai sekarang masih terkebil-kebil. Kebanyakkan mereka yang lain telah tidur dan masih ada beberapa yang masih bangun. Mata dah layu, rasanya sudah sampai waktu untuk mengucapkan selamat malam pada malam ini.

P/S: analisa beberapa hari ini. 
1. Wanita Vietnam sangat gigih dan cekal. 
2. Mereka sangat positif dan mesra. 
3. Hubungan kekeluargaan sangat diutamakan. 
4. Berdasarkan pemerhatian beberapa pelajar sekolah, saya mendapati mereka tidak menghadapi masalah dalam tatabahasa inggeris cuma tidak yakin menggunakannya sebagai komunikasi.

warghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...sangat mengantuk. esok kena bangun awal untuk pergi ke sekolah. selamat malam. :)

Monday, December 10, 2012

Second day - Vietnam

Hello! Dan hari ini telah berlalu dengan jayanya. Hari kedua berada di Vietnam, atau lebih spesifik, Vinh Loc B. Hari bermula dengan huru hara. Lambat bangun! hahahahaha. Sepatutnya membeli barang dipasar, masih membeli barang tapi agak lewat sedikit. Pasar? Perghhhhhh. Wahai rakyat Malaysia, kalau tidak bersyukur selepas melihat senario pasar disini, memang tidak tau apa lagi mau cakap. Bukan teruk, cuma unik dan 'berlainan' dengan konteks Malaysia. Senario seperti ini pasti tidak kelihatan di Malaysia, dan saya bersyukur kerana dapat melihat keadaaan ini. Makan sarapan dan bersiap untuk ke tapak sejarah. Tapak sejarah ini untuk memperingati jasa wanita yang telah terkorban dalam peperangan Vietnam-Amerika. Malam tersebut telah meragut nyawa wanita Vietnam yang membantu askar pada ketika itu. Kami dijamu ubi kayu dan menonton video dokumentari dalam bahasa Vietnam dan sangat syahdu walaupun tak faham. Lepas tu kami bertolak ke rumah salah seorang wanita yang terselamat pada malam itu dan dijamu lagi dengan buah-buahan tempatan! *perghhhhhh,makan saja!* Destinasi terakhir pada hari ini, kebun sayur. 

Sampai rumah lebih kurang jam 1 pm. Memang lapar! Tertidur di buaian, penat! Lepas makan? Tidur lagi. Memang hari bertiduran. Semua bergelimpangan. Hahahaha. Makan malam? disediakan oleh tuan rumah. pesta kerang dan dapat rasa bubur ayam yang sedap. Makan dengan gembira. ......

P/S: OMG, mata sekarang rasa sangat berat! tadi lepas kemas souvenirs, berbincang dengan beberapa rakan-rakan. Masing-masing punya cerita tersendiri. sangat menarik. tapi sekarang memang sangat mengantuk gila-gila. serius! 

Sunday, December 9, 2012

First day - Vietnam

First day at Vietnam. I was so excited since this is my first time out from Malaysia. What makes it more meaningful is this a volunteerism trip with 5 other participant from other university in Malaysia. 

Okay, cukup berbahasa inggeris. Agak janggal disitu. Pagi ni bangun agak lewat sebab tidur pun agak lewat, so faham je la k? :) Setelah sekian lama, ini merupakan kali kedua berada di KLIA, menaiki MAS. Perasaan itu adalah sangat awesome! Cuba untuk tidur semasa dalam pesawat, tetapi banyak halangan. Dan apabila pramugara agak tekanan disitu, anda harus banyakkan bersabar.

Setibanya kami di lapangan terbang Tan Sohn Nhat, kami disambut oleh Mr Vu daripada Youth Union Council Vietnam. Dia sangat peramah dan berusaha sedaya upaya untuk membantu kami. Impresi: rakyat Vietnam sangat mesra dan peramah. Sila jangan salah sangka, walaupun anda berada di Vietnam namun keadaan disini membuatkan anda merasa yang anda berada di Malaysia. Ini disebabkan oleh kebanyakkan orang Malaysia datang ke Vietnam untuk membeli belah. 

Kami dibawa ke ibu pejabat Youth Union Council Vietnam untuk menurunkan segala barangan. Selepas itu kami bertolak ke sebuah tempat yang terdapat kedai makan orang Malaysia. Tidak lupa juga kepada En Helmi yang sudi membantu dan membawa kami disekitar bandar Ho Chi Minh. Kami berkesempatan untuk pergi ke Tax mall (tak berapa nak ingat nama tempat) untuk membeli barangan keperluan dan harga barangan agak murah disini. Maka, tidak hairanlah kalau rakyat Malaysia berpusu-pusu datang kesini kerana penduduk Vietnam sangat mesra dan ada diantara mereka yang telah mempelajari beberapa perkataan bahasa melayu. Strategi perniagaan yang agak bagus. Sangat impresif! ;)

Setelah mendengar penerangan tentatif program daripada Mr Vu dan Mr Son, kami bertolak ke Vinh Loc B. Perjalanan tidak lah jauh, cuma keadaan jalan yang agak sesak melambatkan masa untuk sampai dan sempat melelapkan mata dengan pose yang agak melampau. Hahaha. Sesampainya kami di Vinh Loc B, disambut dengan tangan yang terbuka oleh tuan rumah dan juga ahli Youth Union Council disini. Keadaan rumah yang bersih dan tuan rumah agak peramah. Sangat kagum dengan semangat dan keterbukaan yang ditonjolkan. Makan malam agak lambat kerana menunggu rakan-rakan kembali daripada pasar untuk membeli barangan makanan. Sementara itu, kami sempat bermain beberapa permainan dan berkongsi cerita. Walaupun kami agak terbatas dalam komunikasi namun kegembiraan tetap dirasai. Badan penat tapi hati dan jiwa gembira. :) Tidak sia-sia keputusan yang dibuat untuk datang menyertai misi ini (Misi Sukarelawan Yayasan Sukarelawan Siswa Malaysia) walau banyak dugaan yang dihadapi sebelum sampai ke Vietnam. 

Walau hati terasa sedikit sayu, sikap positif penduduk Vietnam, Youth Union Council dan tuan rumah mengubat kewalangan hati yang mungkin menjejaskan keadaan jika dibiarkan berpanjangan. Segaris senyuman, keramahan suasana, sikap yang suka membantu, sabar dan sifat sukarelawan yang tinggi menyentuh hati. Hari pertama yang penuh makna, membuat diri lebih bersemangat untuk menhadapi hari mendatang. Terima kasih kepada rakan-rakan daripada Misi Sukarelawan Yayasan Sukarelawan Siswa Malaysia dan sukarelawan daripada Youth Union Council kerana membantu dan bekerjasama dalam menjayakan perjalanan program pada hari pertama. 

P/S: ini merupakan diari peribadi untuk merakamkan segala aktiviti dan pengalaman serta perasaan dalam menjalani Misi Sukarelawan Yayasan Sukarelawan Siswa Malaysia. Tidak berniat untuk menyinggung perasaan mana-mana pihak dan ini adalah lebih menjurus kepada catatan peribadi semata. Ingin menulis lagi banyak namun masa kurang mengizinkan, perlu tidur sebab pagi esok kena pergi ke pasar, selamat malam.Chúc ngủ ngon!

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Selesai cerita berjalan-jalan, sekarang kita beralih kepada perkara lain.

Bukan cerita untuk angkat bakul sendiri, sekadar ingin melampiaskan kemusykilan. Dari dulu, beberapa orang kawan sering mencari saya untuk meluahkan masalah mereka. Membuatkan saya tertanya, apa yang membuatkan mereka begitu percaya pada saya dan sudi berkongsi masalah dan luahan. Terbit juga rasa gembira kerana mereka sudi berkongsi kisah dengan diri ini. Bila kita mendengar luahan masalah dan situasi orang lain, kita dapat membuka mata dan minda kepada sudut perspektif yang berbeza dalam kehidupan. Tidak semua manusia itu sempurna, dan setiap cela yang ada pada diri bukanlah penghalang untuk kita menjadi lebih baik. Mereka mampu menenangkan perasaan, dan saya mampu mengambil iktibar daripada pengalaman. Kawan-kawan, maafkan daya jika ada ketikanya saya tidak membalas mesej atau panggilan anda. Saya tidak berniat untuk mengelakkan diri, hanya masa dan keadaan kurang mengizinkan. Jika punya kesempatan dan ruang, saya pasti sedia mendengar dan membantu seboleh mungkin. Harap kamu tidak tersinggung. 

P/S: cerita habis, hahaha. sekadar coretan petang-petang dengan mata layu mahu lelap. ;)

bukan macam tapi memang KK

"Dia bilang macam di KK, ada di KK. Macam di KK. Aramai~"

ya, memang macam di KK. Tapi bukan KK-Kota Kinabalu tapi KK-Kuala Kedah. Yeehuu~ Selasa lepas pergi ke rumah Fiza di Kuala Kedah. Merasa jugak balik rumah kawan di USM. Balik kampung tu mungkin tidak kesampaian memandangkan suda memasuki tahun akhir di USM. Tapi tidak mengapa, balik rumah Fiza memang seronok. Merasakan suasana keluarga Fiza yang 'sempoi baq hang'. Hehehe.

Kita mula daripada pengenalan keluarga Fiza atau nama sebenar Nurulafiza. :) Keluarga dia terdiri daripada ayah, mak, kakak, abang, Fiza, dan adik perempuan. Mak dengan ayah dia sangat sporting. Kakak dia telah berkahwin dan menetap di KL (lokasi secara spesifik tidak dikenalpasti). Abang dia agak pendiam, mungkin juga segan dengan kehadiran saya. Adik perempuan dia pun sporting. Fiza? hurm, pasal dia ni tidak payah la cerita, geng setia di USM. ;) Hahahaha.

Malam pertama di rumah Fiza, tiada juga buat apapa. Tidur seja la. 

Hari berikutnya, bangun jam 10! Segan jugala bangun lewat di rumah orang, tapi ni memang kira awal la ni. Hahaha. Sarapan nasi lemak yang awesome! Tengok TV, meninjau orang memasak di dapur. Memandangkan ilmu memasak itu sangat kurang, mampu tengok jak la. Makan tengah hari yang sangat mengiurkan dan memang sedap! Bahagia betul makan masakan di rumah. :P Petang tu, lepas ayah dia balik dari kerja, kami pergi bersiar-siar. Jalan-jalan dalam kereta jak la. Lalu terminal Kuala Kedah (terus terasa mau pergi Langkawi), lepas tu jalan di kawasan bendang/sawah sampailah Gunung Keriang. Menarik. Kemudian pergi Alor Star, meronda-ronda. Balik rumah dan berehat. Makan malam? urgh, makan memang sentiasa lazat! Hahaha. Malam tu buat-buatlah rajin mau siapkan assignment, tapi harapan hampa, layan TV. Lupa pula sebut, ayah dia sangat lucu! Bukan lah lucu pelawak, tapi sangat spontan. Dan spontan tu yang buat perbualan sangat menarik dan mencuit hati. Cayalah ayah Fiza! ;)

Hari kedua di rumah Fiza, bangun jam 11! Ok, ini kes parah. Hahaha. Bahana tidur lewat. Dan sarapan jam 11.30am, rasa bersalah pula terbangun lewat. Sarapan, tiada komen selain sedap! Hahaha. Melepak di pusat beli belah, makan popcorn, makan McD, jalan sampai petang, dan balik rumah kepenatan. Jam 6pm, meronda kawasan kampung. Oh yeah! Tiada helmet, naik motor Fiza. Kalau merasa naik motor besar best juga, tapi nanti mata-mata yang memandang tidak puas hati pula. Lalu kawasan bendang dengan Kuala Kedah, sangat menenangkan! :) Malam pergi pasar malam, jalan-jalan cuci mata. Ayah Fiza memborong durian! *gelak sakan* Malam tu, saya tidak join makan malam, masih kenyang. Tapi? Durian tetap makan! hahahaha. Makan like a boss! Tidak ingat dunia sudah. Malam dipenuhi dengan sesi tengok TV. :P

Hari ketiga, hari terakhir. Mak dengan ayah Fiza cakap jangan balik dulu, ada kenduri keesokkan harinya. Tapi saya tetap berkeras mau balik. Perlu masa dan ruang untuk berada dalam bilik hostel. Pertama kali naik bas dari Kuala Kedah dan pertama kali naik Feri untuk ke seberang. 

P/S: biarpun nda sampai KK-Kota Kinabalu, KK-Kuala Kedah pun best juga. satu pengalaman menarik. terus terang memang kekok dengan family setting. standard la kalau tidak biasa duduk dengan family ni. Thanks Fiza! Sayang kat hang ketat2.. hahahaha. Nanti kalau ada kesempatan, pasti akan singgah lagi. :)

Monday, November 12, 2012

Tukar tempat lagi

Haluu.... Okay,malam ni d UUM.. Besok mo main volleyball.. Macam2 jak aktiviti.. Dan tulang rusuk masih lg dalam keadaan yg agak kritikal.. Sakit kepala ni.. Malam bsok plan mo p rumah fiza.. Tapi kalau habis malam, nda siok juga kalau dtg rumah org malam2.. Isk.. Malam ni post guna Iphone kawan.. Sabar jak la.. Meriah betul drg sini.. Sy nda larat mo join the crowd.. Hv fun, sy mo tdurrrr.. Babaiii..:)

Sunday, November 11, 2012

change place

Few days ago, I said I'm at UKM. Now I'm at UTP. Hahaha. Just reached yesterday night and the program will finish today! Well, at least I wouldn't have to go back from UiTM Shah Alam after the closing ceremony for SUKIPT. 

Last time I write about chilling huh? On Friday, my kumite category competition. Lose and nosebleed, again. And as expected, I get more nagging. Which caused me almost punch on the person face. Emotional won't get you anywhere though. So? I ignore. The next day (Saturday), it was team kumite competition. We are constraining our angry. It's not good nagged in the morning. Seriously. But that day, we manage to fight 3 team. UniSZA, UPM and UiTM. We only won in the match against UniSZA. I get a solid slap kick to the body which I refer as blasting kick. My rib cage hurt! The medic team checked and they said no broken rib cage. phew! UPM? We been scored 8-0 before time out. Wish come true for me. I haven't fight with any national team before this. They didn't send representative for my weight category I guess. Then we fought for 'repecharge' with UiTM. I managed to meet with Sabahan girl and she is so awesome! *Do I sound gay saying something like that? hahahaha* But she is really cool. ;) 

P/S: My friends from Taylor's fetch me from UKM to UTP. It was indeed a long journey and controversy journey. Reach UTP with mixed feeling and now I'm sitting in front of my laptop. Just finished my slides for branding and sent it to my group leader. I'm super sleepy now, barely can open my eyes. Good night. Miss you sayang. :')

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

terlepas

Hello! Just have the proper time to relax. And mumbling here in my diary. To make it more casual, I will write in mixed language. ;)

Okay, sila berambus formaliti. Hahaha. Anda boleh main jauh-jauh di tepi sana. Harini saya mo pakai bahasa pasar. Pasal apa? Sebab saya suka jak.Sekian.

Huhuh! Ni malam ketiga d UKM, dan lebih spesifik Kolej Kediaman Pendeta Za'ba. Macamana keadaan? Okay, saya tidak mau komplen. Biar budak UKM seja yang komplen, saya ni menumpang seja. :P Malam pertama mmg huru-hara. Kena pow lagi taxi driver! Chaits! Lepas tu malam assignment marathon pun bermula. sampai jam 3 jak, trus pengsan! pagi berikutnya, bangun jam 7, p jogging dan official training. perghsss. sampai bilik trus pengsan! xsempat mandi, dan menyebabkan macam2 hal berlaku dan menyemakkan kepala. dan bila suda terlalu tekanan, memang semua akan diabaikan. hahahaha.malam semalam paling teruk! buat kerja sampai jam 5 dan menaip turbo! dan?  SIAP! hahahahaha. tapi? pagi tadi termiss jogging, tgh hari terbangun sebab semua bising mo jalan. :P then? p Berjaya Times Square, memuaskan nafsu makan dan dapat mnum Starbucks, green tea frap with whipped cream. Yummy. pastu p sokong budak olahraga lari. dan tekeluar wild side. macam terlepas dari kandang stress. hahahaha. memang terlepas kejap la. skrg? hurm, online jak. lepas ni boleh la tdur awal. sindiran maut oleh coaches semakin hangat diperdengarkan. lantakla~ saya ni manusia biasa jak, bukan robot. robot pun boleh malfunction, over heat. saya lagi ni? teda manual. hahahaha. 

P/S: tapi terasa macam mo tgk muvi dulu baru tidur ni. hahaha. dan lupa mo cakap. I'm back! to my wilderness side~ :P (konfiden kan? assignment ada lagi tu..sabar..skrg kita chill dulu kejap)

Well, I'm still very chubby~ as always. ;)

suddenly

Miss you so much sayang. :) Sorry, I'm so busy with my assignments and activities. Wait for me k? Well, I'm quite clear that I can complete my assignment when I type this. But I don't know, I can't help it, I just have to express it here. You are always in my mind sayang. Thanks for understanding. :') *hugs and kisses*

P/S: I also want to mention few friends that can't be named. You guys are just too cute. Thanks for making me smile. I became more and more ignorance to mean words that they threw at me. Why so serious? Why be mad? Thank you guys! :)

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

underestimate bored

These what happen when you are too bored to sit quietly in class..
Digesting facts and processing sentence can be very uninteresting..









P/S: It's better than sleeping right? ;) I'm alert, seriously. :P Forgot to mention, my hair is long again. And I plan to cut it again. (my hair always messy..==)

Sunday, October 21, 2012

mati akal

Hello Diari! Hari ni terasa mo menulis dalam diari. Sebab? Bosan dan mati akal. Kehabisan idea. Pasal apa? Well, saya baru hendak mengarang esei untuk menyatakan sebab kenapa saya harus di terima sebagai pelajar praktikal di Colgate Palmolive. Sebenarnya saya memang tidak pandai menulis kalau berkaitan dengan perkara mo promote diri ni. Nanti takut pula tulis ‘indah khabar dari rupa’. Sudahla selalu tulis merapu dan merepek seja.

“Saya seorang yang mampu bekerja dalam persekitaran yang mencabar dan mampu menangani stress dengan efektif”

“Saya ingin merasai persekitaran kerja dengan menimba pengalaman di sebuah syarikat yang mempunyai rekod pemasaran produk yang berkesan di Malaysia.”

“Saya ingin bekerjasama dengan Colgate Palmolive untuk membantu meningkatkan pemasaran produk syarikat ini.”

“Saya mampu memberikan komitmen yang tinggi dalam melaksanakan tugasan atau projek yang akan diberikan sekiranya saya di terima sebagai pelajar praktikal dalam syarikat ini.”
……
……
……
Habis idea. 

Friday, October 19, 2012

*sigh*

not in the mood to argue with you sweetheart. so don't push me too much. I don't like it.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012


Hey ho! Hey ho! Just want to mumble something tonight. I finally come to realization; perhaps I closed my world for too long. I’m afraid of getting hurt, so I end up hurting myself. Ignorance can be very nice, but it is long term of suffering. I decided to be happier of myself. Moody and I has become synonym for far too long. Who doesn’t know me that well, will think that this is normal? It’s not normal, but when you are ignorance and moody for too long, it would affect your personality and slowly become a part of you. My new resolutions:

1.      Love myself more, not by being ignorance off course!
2.      Love what I’m doing. It will make it easier for me to get things done. J
3.      Become more cheerful and happy. No more moody please, it’s tiring!
4.      Last but not least, love the people that love me! Hehehe.

P/s: I will become happier with myself and what I’m doing! Yeay! *fill myself with positive energy* 

Sunday, October 14, 2012

komplen?

          Okay, hari ni mood sangat teruk. Pasal apa? Tidak tau. Mungkin penat. Baru sampai dari Johor tadi petang. Tapi memang best la di Johor. Terasa relax, dapat lari dari Penang. Sekarang? Sakit kepala. Banyak kerja. Tapi itu mmg padan muka la, tidak boleh komplen banyak2. Sendiri yang mo pergi jugak Johor kan.

            Apa yang saya boleh komplen? Tiada! Hari ni satu hari tidur saja. Tapi mata sekarang suda sangat layu. Mo buka pun macam sengsara betul. So malam ni boleh tidur awal? Rasa bersalah dengan kerja yang bertimbun2. Arghhhhhh….. buat kejap la ni kerja, ni malam tidur awal sikit. J

P/S: penyakit malas semakin teruk. Teruk! Buruk perangai!

Friday, October 12, 2012

finally ♥

Me and him..:)

Okay, since this my diary so I will use my bragging right. Although nothing to brag actually but finally! Finally I manage to meet this guy! I've been searching him like 5 years! I think I have posted before this about a guy that I really-really wish to meet again. And I get to meet him. Its not that hard actually, it just take me so long to search. I get his whereabouts from his brother, which I don't know. If you are desperate enough to search for a person, you have to be brave to ask from stranger. Hahaha. 

I met him last year. I'm so speechless when I face to face with him. And the first meeting, we run into his aunt. And he got asked a lot because of that. Hahaha. After that we meet again for few times. Nothing excites me more than meeting him, so all other things were pushed aside. Last year, before I went to Penang, we didn't manage to meet up. So that's it.

This year, I almost gave up. Okay, I did like him. *blush* But it didn't end there. Wait for me. I will be back. This the beginning of a new journey in life. ;)

P/s: name? never mind. hahaha. Can't write so much. I'm getting embarrassed. Since I'm not the type that will say anything or declare anything to public or friends. You ask, I answer. You didn't ask, its not my responsibility or a must for me to say anything. Nothing to hide, nothing to brag. ♥ Sky

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Subjects


Today, started to write again in my blog! Actually got nothing to say, but my blog look kind of lonely! Miss me huh? I miss you too! :')

Okay, maybe I can start by sharing my subject that I registered this semester. Not so much, only 15 unit. But, don’t belittle of marketing subjects during final year. These subjects might strangle you in their own way. Like so much challenge? You will get it. Just be careful what you wish for. ;)

Okay, let’s start with the compulsory subject first. To be reminded, this is my personal opinion. It might different from other people perspective. J

1.      Business Ethics (core subject)

-          This subject is quite confusing. But I like it because it’s very critical. It helps me to reasoning for the decision that I made/choose. There is no right or wrong answer but it depends on how you defend/argue your answer. Some might have guideline but this subject can train people to be more objective in their decision making. It also can help me to realize the values that can be used in some situations. It’s not about yes or no, right or wrong, but more toward reasoning.

2.      Brand Marketing (elective subject)

-          This is really interesting. We can be a brand manager! Well, we have to come out with a product or service for the company that we got assigned to and have the opportunity to present it to the manager of the company! This is very exciting and also can be very stressful! Hahahaha. And we have less than a month to come out with a product or service. Alongside with that, we have to work on another project, L’oreal Brandstorm 2012! It’s very exciting experience last time we participate on this. But this time we can choose whether to join or not but it still compulsory to do the project. So what’s the plan? No idea! :P

3.      Media Planning (minor)

-          I still got no idea what really is this. But it looks like very interesting subject. We plan media for products and services. We have to learn about the media and decide which media that suitable for our product. I heard that we will have real project from outside agency. Wow! This is really something. And yes, another headache! ==”

4.      Spoke English (university course)


-          Okay. Why did I take this course? Not just to fill my university course, I want to be more confident when conversing in English. I can speak English but I believe that this course will help me in my English. Just done my individual oral presentation few days ago. My topic is “The Impact of Racism in Society”. The topic look easy, but I can’t complete and prepare my topic for about a week! The most pathetic is that I finally got the real content to present the morning before the presentation! To think that I get sick because of this. Make me feel so pathetic! And its 25%! Damn! After this we will have panel discussion and debate as well. I hope I can do better in my next presentation because there will be solely on coursework! I hope I didn’t screw so much on my individual oral presentation.

5.      Traditional Dance (university course)

-          To be honest, I want to take this during my first year. I really want to learn traditional dance. I enjoy dancing. I’m not a good dancer, but who care? As long I enjoy doing it, I will do! During my first year, I choose karate as my co-curriculum. I completed 3 semesters and because of that I’m representing my university for karate. Maybe if I join this during my first year, I will be my university dancer? No idea. Hahahahaha. So far, we have learned to dance Inang and Zapin. Another one would be Joget. At the end of November, we will be dancing one of these steps and perform during the co-curriculum night. Isn’t that exciting? J We will see then. :P

P/S: before I post this, I write my entry using Microsoft Word and it reached 2 pages! Imagine if I were doing my assignment, it will be already 2 pages! But never mind, for you my diary, a little time wouldn’t be so much. I’m hurting to see you without updates. Till we meet again. J

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Minggu ke-5


     Hello! Hello! dan Hello! Setelah sekian lama, akhirnya terasa untuk menulis dalam blog. Terlihat tarikh terakhir entri, ogos 2012! *kira-kira guna jari* baru 2bulan xtulis. Chill la kan? :P

     Ini adalah entri yang pertama selepas menjejakkan kaki ke USM tercinta. #sayangUSMketatketat Cuti 1bulan memang sangat ‘ausem’! Hari-hari terbaring dirumah. Bangun, makan, tidur, online, movie, drama, anime, tidur, bangun, makan dan begitulah seterusnya. Memang tidak perlu dinafikan lagi, gaya hidup macam ni memang akan menyebabkan badan naik secara mendadak. *meraung-raung* Hari raya tahun ni simple ja, ada juga la pergi open house, makan kuih raya, gelak ketawa, dan bergambar2. Hahahahahaha. Satu pengalaman yang agak baru. Tahun ni xikut my mum balik kampung husband dia/ ayah tiri saya. Malas! (Ko tau ka betapa panas nya disana tu, xtermasuk lagi mata yg memandang macam tidak pernah nampak orang? Kurik tu biji mata tu!) okay, habis cerita di Tuaran. Nanti mengomplen seja kerja ku. Oh! By the way, saya pindah balik rumah lama! Tempat saya membesar. Dari segi utiliti memang tidak berapa selesa la, tapi kalau hati senang, siapa mo komplen kan? J

     Balik USM memang selalu awal, sem ini buat kelainan. Balik 1minggu lewat! (nasib baik balik lambat, sempat lagi main perang-perang dirumah. Jengjengjeng.. ;) ) Tapi, malang memang selalu tidak berbau, kalau tidak berbunyi lagi teruk! Sampai USM, kes perang dunia masih tidak selesai. Jiwa kacau habisan! Ahhhh.,… biarlah tu, kalau dicerita tambah panas pula hati!

P/S: Sekarang sudah masuk minggu kelima, dan kehidupan masih huru hara. Tapi xapa, masih boleh bernafas. Susah macamana pun tidak mati juga. :P ok la, banyak suda merepek2 ni. Mo p tidur 15 minit. Power nap kunu! Hahahaha. Semoga kita jumpa lagi~ ;)

Sunday, August 5, 2012

panas jo!

Halu~ entri hari ni ditulis dalam bas. ada rasa tekanan juga la mu tunggu bas penuh, siksa ko tau! sudahla cuaca panas membara ni. nasib baik la bas yg 12penumpang ja, klau yg 36 tu nda la tesampai2 kk ni gink. keboringan duduk dalam bas, so kita conteng2 dulu blog. hahahahaha.

Lma suda nda menulis ni sini. bukan sibuk, tapi mmg malas.. kerajinan hanya didedikasikan kepada tidur, muvi, drama, bermalasan, makan dan pelbagai lagi aktivit yg tidak produktif dan boleh menaikkan berat badan untu mencapai berat badan unggul. Hahahaha. 

Apa yg saya mau update? Hurm. sekarang ada projek. mcm2 projek juga la sebenarnya, tapi kerajinan tu lagi hebat. hilang! hahahaha. projek kolam ikan, projek menjejak kasih, projek mengurangkan berat badan, projek training, projek mengemas rumah..... projek paling berjaya ialah projek bermalasan. hari2 terdampar diruma seja. piiiii.. setakat ni sudah jumpa sikit kawan2.. ni mu p kk ni pun mau jumpa seniors2. hahahaha. lambat bngun jo! sandi! hahahaha..

P/s: bas sudah penuh, yeay! hahahah.. kk mri! perasaan dia macam di kk pula tau! ouh! lupa mention, terjumpa pula childhood friend dalam bs ni. kalau teingat mcmana rapatnya kmi msa saya skola rendah ulu, lucu juga la..  bodyguard saya. :p so long! babai! ;)

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

just nothing

I’m pathetic. Really pathetic.

Okay, ignore that. Actually I just updated my blog just now and blurt out all my frustration. Its my way to cool down myself. I love talking but writing it will be more calming. You may forgot what you say but you cant forget the word you write, its written!

Now I want to write something is not emotional. I will try. I just created an account at Twitter. Outdated? Well, trends and Esther or Pink doesn’t go along well from the very beginning. I still not quite sure how to use it but I think time will teach. J

I don’t have any specific topic to discuss. I’m just doing this to kill some time. I have nothing to do now. Frustration still nested in my heart and mind. Anyone volunteer to give some topic to discuss? ;)

P/S: I’m easily irritated and not good in handling stress and tension. I tend to act recklessly when I’m stress. Crazy thoughts and plan come shooting in every corner of my mind. Some is really fun, but sometimes I will regret it. Now I learnt the truth. It’s in the blood. :P

hari angin tidak bagus

*entry with broken language*

Ok, napa tiba2 menulis waktu petang begini? Sebab tekanan. Tekanan pasal? Hurm...

Rasa sakit hati. Teda karen(electricity)! Tiba2 jak tadi. Itu satu hal. Pastu sampai rumah tadi, mendengar orang membebel,Ridwan. Sebab? Charger handphone dia rusak. Nda tau la mcmana buli rusak, tapi kalau barang yang xberkualiti mmg begitu, sukur2 seja ada. Skrg suda rusak, mau komplen sama tu charger, xguna. So komplen dengan saya, lagila nda larat jo! Pastu mengungkit. Macam mau ditampar. Lepas tu saya lagi membebel. Kes harta tidak pandai selesai. Dan memang bikin sakit kepala. Yang paling mengamuk, memang hubungan kekeluargaan itu sudah tiada makna. Instusi kekeluargaan semakin rapuh.

#its really pathetic to say this but this is one of the reason why I don't believe in family instituition. Its really an immature thought but it really affects me. Hatred is growing stronger. I have to hold back myself. Or I will crash my heart and being really helpless. I just feel want to have a hard cry.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

mumbling

Hello diary! This will be my first post since I'm back to my hometown. Tonight is my second night at home. My father? He's fine. My mother? She's doing okay and surprised to see me home. I didn't tell her I'm home. Tony? Still haven't meet him yet. Ridwan is doing great and we were having so much FUN in the house. Rahim and Raymie also doing good. Raymie is quite cold but that's normal. At least he is not running away from me like he did last year. Second night at home, Ridwan and me are having steamboat as our dinner. (I thought the food is not enough, but its really excessive! I guess I'm blinded by my big appetite. ==)

I don't know how I feel. But with Raymie around, I'm just happy. 2 weeks, almost 3weeks in KL was really fun. I joined programs and get myself a nice trip to Melaka. Its awesome if I have someone to accompany me there but I won't simply invite anyone. It will be more meaningful to go with the person you love and have some romantic moments there. Ouch! This is not 'jiwang' post, but I think its really great to go there with the person you love. (Well, I'm not that type that will show affection to person I love when we are surrounded by the people we know. Let it be our secret. ;) ) Okay, I do have different sides in relationship. I admit that. :p. Please keep my secret,diary. :p

Relationship. Ouch. Commitment. Feelings. And headache. Hahah, just kidding. Its not easy to be in a relationship (like real relationship, not just puppy love), but its really worth it if you are with the right person in the right timing at the right place. Sounds perfect? It is not possible for everyone but the possibility can come from anyone. Confused? Please re-read the phrase. :p I'm not good in a relationship but I still want to have it. Perfect guy doesn't exist, there are always flaws. I will be with the person that can accept me as I am and complete my life. Off course I need to accept him as he is and complete his life too. Win-win situation. I can't run anymore. Keep running and there will be burden to bare as you run. Decision has to be made so I can sort out my life.

Love, I just want to tell you that I'm a selfish person. Ego. And totally not ladies. Ignorant and have an average level of IQ. Sometimes clumsy and most of the time unpredictable. Like challenges but hate to make decision. Can't cope with continuous stress and can be mad and silly. Loud and not romantic. Don't just lead, please guide.

P/S: I'm lost! Bye! :p

Monday, July 16, 2012

end to start

Hey! Hey! And hey! In less than 24hours, I will be back to Sabah. Happy? Sad? I don't know. I'm more concern with "who" will be at Sabah for me.I need to settle this matter. (It will be more tangled and complicated later)

I admit that I used to fall for you. But the way you treat me make me lose my feeling. I didn't meant to play with your heart but I'm not angel. I need to listen to my heart now.

P/S: too afraid or don't want commitment? Distance really kill. Especially for me. I'm not good with words neither with action. I hope this will work. I will make this work. Help me.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

seminar.

Attending a seminar to brainwash all the negative thought that I have in mind. These kind of seminar help me to realise what I need to do and in the same time keep the positive energy to be in the optimum level. Personal development, self satisfaction, and life enrichment. :)

P/S: I can't live forever to experience the spices of life but I can learn from other and maybe build my legacy as well. Live? Full of surprises. ;)

Thursday, July 5, 2012

santai diri

Yeah! Akhirnya! Sudah mencuba 2 hari untuk menulis dalam diari, tapi kegagalan fungsi membantutkan niat. Bukan tidak boleh menulis menggunakan komputer riba untuk menulis namun buah fikiran atau perasaan untuk menulis bukanlah sesuatu yang boleh dijangka.

"Cancerians get things done through their emotional commitment"

Okay, saya memang suka membaca horoskop. Ia menjadi rutin dalam hidup. Saya menggunakan horoskop untuk mengawal hidup, aktiviti dan paling kritikal sekali, perasaan. Saya berbintang Cancer, dan saya memang menggunakan perasaan dalam melaksanakan sesuatu. Perasaan ego, tanggungjawab, tercabar, kepuasan, gembira, sedih, kecewa dan macam-macam lagi. Positif atau negatif, perasaan menjadi salah satu tiang utama dalam melaksanakan perkara-perkara yang ingin disempurnakan. Ini merujuk kepada diri saya dan pendapat rakan-rakan terdekat. Jika difikirkan kembali, hidup telah menjadikan saya sukar untuk mengekspresi perasaan, terutama sekali perasaan sedih atau lebih mendalam. Perasaan gembira? Rasanya saya boleh menyebabkan orang sekeliling rasa sangat menyampah melihat tingkah laku atau perangai saya apabila saya terlalu gembira.

Saya boleh berubah secara drastik dari segi fizikal dan mental. Saya percaya semua orang mampu. Fizikal mampu dilihat secara luaran namun mental hanya boleh ditafsirkan oleh individu yang memahami psikologi atau mungkin dilahirkan memang boleh membaca bahasa badan. Setakat ini, saya berjaya untuk mengawal secara fizikal dan mental cuma permainan mental lebih mencabar dan memerlukan tenaga yang banyak. Kalau tenaga mencukupi, bolehlah bertahan. Kalau tidak? Sendiri mau tau. :p

P/S: kehabisan idea!

Sunday, July 1, 2012

berakhir sudah.

Setelah hampir 6 purnama betungkus-lumus, akhirnya ICT Village 1 telah sampai ke penghujungnya. Segala penat lelah dan usaha yang dicurahkan terasa hilang dan menggembirakan. Tidak dilupakan juga rasa kepuasan yang dinikmati. Setinggi ucapan terima kasih diucapkan kepada mentor University Ambassador yang membimbing dan memberi tunjuk ajar dalam pelaksanaan program. Juga kepada rakan-rakan University Ambassador yang bersama-sama menjayakan program ini. Sekalung penghargaan diucapkan kepada warga Felda Gunung Besout 2 yang menyertai dan memberi sokongan terhadap ini. Kepada mak angkat saya, Pn Khatijah Binti Awang Desa, kerana turut sama menyertai dan sabar melayan karenah saya. Keluarga angkat yang sudi menerima dan menyambut saya dan rakan-rakan seperjuanagan. Mungkin program ini telah berakhir, tapi ikatan silaturahim yang terjalin pasti akan sentiasa menjadi sebahagian daripada hidup. Terima kasih semuanya. Semoga kita dirahmati tuhan dan penglibatan yang menggalakkan daripada warga Felda Gunung Besout 2. Semoga semua ini memberikan pengajaran dan teladan dalam hidup. :)

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Happy birthday Esther. :)

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me and me, happy birthday to me. *self clap,and yeay!*

I'm really grateful that I already live for 2* years. I'm currently in the phase of maturing. Thanks for all the wishes! I got less wishes this year because I kept my birthday private. (Forgot to mention, my birthday was yesterday, 26th of june) I don't really matter I get less wishes, I just want the people that really remember my birthday to wish me. It was even more meaningful. There are many people that you meet and know in this world but only few will remember and appreciate you. Thanks guys.

Birthday is like a curse that telling you the time is moving and you age is just added and friendly reminder that telling you that "what have you achieved, what have you done before adding the number in your age". Birthday is also a new hope for you to dom some new resolution, the target to achieve before the next birthday. Life is too short to be filled with sadness. Be happy! Its worth it.

This year, I'm sure that I've seen, heard and learn from the life path that I chose. Not perfect but its really impacting. I made some mistakes, I made some friends, I made decisions, I'm pursuing personal development and I know I'm better now. In my own words, thoughts and definition.

Melancholy attack during birthday. Feel restless and powerless. Words are hardly expressed through my mouth but thoughts are running endlessly in mind. I don't know or maybe pretend not to know what's happening to me. I will be better when I wake up later. This silent had make me feel restless. Almost spill everything out but I hate to be attached to someone. Its easy to be attached, but its so hard to detach. I learn to detach by not attached to people. Attachment might give you strength but you need a lot more strength to detach yourself.

P/S: last year birthday was too wonderful until this year birthday feel so awkward. It remind me of Katy Perry song,Thinking of You.

"Comparisons are easily done once you had the taste of perfection,"

Till we meet again diary, good night and sleep tight. :)

Saturday, June 23, 2012

exam over!

Finally finished my exam for this semester. But still sleeping late. Watched some videos really flash back some memories. I almost forget about how it statrted but its all coming back to me. Those moments are irreplaceable. Only you! Yes! You! You are the only one. I missed you! :')

P/S: sleep! Have day out with friends later! ;)

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

paling manang.

*post bahasa pasar*

Ok, exam sudah start. Kemarin 1st paper. Saya pun xtaw apa la saya tulis tu. Antam seja la. Tapi rasa bersalah sama tu lecturer. Dia punya la bagus. Sorry Dr, saya sudah buat all out. Itu seja saya mampu. Semua kemahiran menganalisa hilang. Analisis ikut suka hati jak. Teda kronologi yang ngam. Hahahahahah. Next paper hari khamis. Study? Belum start. Sebab? Saya kan campen, paling campen kalau bab2 malas. Susa juga kalau terer btul jadi pemalas ni. Lepas exam jak kemarin, trus tidur! Sebelum tu adalah lunch ba. Hahahahah. Memang tidur kaw2 punya. Bangun2 jak, p mandi, makan trus tgk anime. Study? Ada juga la saya pegang tu buku. Pigang jak la,kasi susun bagus2. Lepas tu, anime lagi. Sambung2. Skrg? Mau tdur. Teda keyakinan mau start belajar. Tutup laptop, trus baring. Kalau lama2 sana meja, tgk anime seja la sampai pagi. Nnt siang banyak lagi mau setel. Tapi itu cerita nnt. Skrg saya mau tdur seja. Selamat songgom.

P/S: mimpi tadi petang masih lagi dalam kepala. Bersambung? Hahahahah. Panat weih!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Sunday morning :)

            Yeah! Finally! I’ve been posting from my Blackberry for quite some time. Laptop is only for Facebook, Youtube and anything that other than blogging. Idea doesn’t come easily but for sure it goes quite fast. The idea is still there but the inspiration or motivation to write is gone somewhere over the rainbow? Hahahahahaha. Okay, enough with this introduction. Now I will write what actually I want to write. :P
            Actually I’m really annoyed and frustrated! Why is that? Last night I sleep quite early, just 25minute past 12 a.m. It’s good! I’m grateful for that. Seriously! But what makes me really annoyed is just 15minute before 3a.m. I’m awake! Not to mention the pain in the ass and hungry! Damn it! Arghhhhhh! I want to wake up in the morning! This is way too early. L Tomorrow night (it’s actually tonight), I will make this work! I need to make this right. But yeah, I know what to do but it’s certainly not easy as I say. Because? I know what to do but I didn’t do what I know! It’s really hurtful statement, but the reality is like that!

“It’s not enough just to know what to do, it’s more important to do what you know!” – Unknown

            Read it back! Please wake up! We always says that, “yeah, I know that. But it’s not gonna work for me” or something like this “I know that would happen! But I didn’t do it”. You can define it from positive or negative perspective but I prefer to talk in positive side.
            For student like me, I always said that “I need/want/will do that revision and finish it (fill in the blank whatever statement you used to do)”. But what actually we did? I don’t know about you guys but me? I end up doing other things or maybe doing nothing! I kept telling to myself inside my mind but didn’t do anything. Make up some excuses, calm myself off and saying that this is normal. It’s just so amazing when you can make yourself feel good/calm/better/comfort when you did something not good or uncomfortable or whatever that can make you feel guilty. Sound harsh? Too bad, this is reality! *ouch!*
            For a melancholic like me, the tendency of thinking in details is one of my characteristic. But, in the same time, I don’t like thinking too much! It’s just making my head and mind in chaos state. You are playing and battling with yourself inside your mind. It’s really painful and annoying. I want to act like I don’t care or it doesn’t bother me, but it run inside my mind. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh. But it’s okay, nobody perfect. I’ve tried to do it. Not working 100% but surely has impact and getting better. “I feel regret for doing nothing when I can do something about it” Or “I’m glad I did that during that time”. Which one you prefer? Good morning people! Have a nice day.

P/S: feel more relaxed now. I think I can study now. J

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

another life phase. :)

Hello~ we meet again my little diary. For the past last week, I've been writing in more casual Malay and mixed language. I know its a violation and disgrace for language. Pardon me, I'm not belittle of the language. I'm just want to be more relaxed while expressing my thought. By the way, I'm already in my study week period. It would be more frequent in sleeping late I guess(I always sleep late though). Hahahahah.

Did I mention that I started a business? Well I guess not. But this business somehow not only about the money. It was more than that. I learn to improve my self esteem and in the same time, gaining some knowledge from the people that already suceeded in the business. Looking for financial freedom? Wanting for more time? Doesn't like the idea of working for the whole time? Want to improve on your soft skill? This is maybe what you looking for. You can ask me personally or inbox me get further information. I'm so excited about this business because I personally believe that this can change my life. People in the business has proven that. This not going to work for everyone. Only people with dream can do this. Because, you will strive for the dream. My dream that driving me in the business and you might want to get to know about it. There is no forces, its your choice.

"A man with a dream will not be denied"

"When you think you know about everything, that's the point when you stop learning"

The first saying will strengthen your faith in your dream. Reality is harsh but if you work hard enough, put your effort into it and spend some time to do it, it can be achieved. For the second saying, I believe that in this life, we all are learning. When you stop learning, you stop living your life. Learn something from everything because you will miss the point when you try to learn everything in a time. Don't rush because you might miss out the important things to learn.

In this business, people are changing. Off course to be a better person. If you keep yourself closed, you will never develop your true potential. That is a waste of life. Not everyone can be successful, only the people that have the intention to be successful, open to opportunity, evaluate the opportunity and pursue it by investing effort and strive for it. You might faced some obstacles in your journey but you have to hold on to your faith. The beauty of the business is they certainly will not let you struggle by yourself. They have sufficient support for you and your business. You might not like your team members in your work or assignments but you will love the team in the business. The true feeling in a team.

P/S: you can get the information from me about the business. Its your decision. I love what I'm doing because I want to achieve my dream. This is another phase in my life for developing my true potential and be success. :)

Sunday, June 3, 2012

lepak-lepak

Okay, malam ni ambil feel lain sikit. Selalu post sebelum tidur, hari ni post melepak dulu pagi buta. Sekali sekala menikmati angin malam, hari2 berkurung dalam bilik, mana tahan! Tapi secara umum,saya memang lagi suka malam. Tenang dan damai. Mungkin tu la sebab dia saya selalu tidak tidur malam,sayang ba tu malam. Hahahahahaha. Belum lagi tidur la, tapi limpang2. Tengok bulan, tengok bintang, tengok langit (sambil suara2 latar bahasa cina). Ya,bukan saya saja yang lepak sini. Ada lagi satu kumpulan budak cina, tidak tau la apa cerita dorang. Abaikan. Sekarang kawasan hostel agak sunyi. Semua balik belajar. Hahahahahah. Kalau ingat2 balik,lama sudah tidak buat begini. Lepak2 tengok bintang. Lama sudah tidak tengok Dragon Ball (Dragon Ball disini merujuk kepada sekelompok bintang yang ada 7biji/butir. Selalu saya tengok dulu. Semenjak sampai d Penang,lama sudah tidak nampak.) Wahai Dragon Ball, mana ko ni? Lama tidak jumpa. ;)

P/S: biarpun saya suka bintang, suka bulan, suka langit, suka laut, saya tidak pernah buat kajian atau cuba menyiasat lebih mendalam. Mungkin saya lagi suka melihat sama menghayati daripada menjadi obses. Bila dipikir balik, memang saya tidak pernah obses lagi sama apapa. (Setahu dan semasa kesedaran saya laaaaaaa) hahahahaha..ok la, saya mau menikmati angin malam. Sehingga bertemu lagi. ;)

Thursday, May 31, 2012

terus dari hati dan minda polos

Hurm.. Ini bukan keluhan, tapi sekadar nukilan sebelum melayari malam. Menyedari apa yang diingankan, berusaha mencapai impian. Walau hidup penuh dengan cabaran, berpeganglah kepada kepercayaan. Sesungguhnya kepercayaan tidak akan menghampakan sekiranya diletakkan pada tempat yang sepatutnya. Yakinlah pada setiap permulaan itu adalah satu langkah yang penting, perjalanan itu satu cabaran yang mendewasakan dan pengakhiran itu ada iktibar. Walau jatuh tersungkur pada hari ini, terimalah kenyataan, kumpulkan kekuatan untuk bermula kembali dengan tenaga yang baru. Hidup tidak sentiasa indah kerana ia bagaikan roda yang berputar. Ada masa kau kemudi dan ada ketika kau terpaksa mengharungi jalan yang berduri. Mungkin kau menangis pada hari ini, namun kau sentiasa boleh mengukir senyum untuk menghadapi menenangkan diri. Berhenti mengeluh dan kerahkan minda dan tenaga untuk mencari alternatif. Bumi ini luas dan penuh dengan cara untuk membaiki diri. Lihat, pandang, dengar dan selami ruang minda. Yakin pada diri, percaya pada usaha dan tangani dengan akal fikiran yang waras dan hati yang terbuka. Jalan tidak selalunya lurus, pintu tidak semestinya terbuka. Namun, jalan akan sentiasa ada, pintu juga boleh dibuka.

P/S: hanya membiarkan jari jemari menaip nukilan yang terus dari hati dan minda yang mengemudi.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

boring-boring

Sekarang sedang menikmati makan malam dalam Malam Anugerah Sukan. Hurm, nikmat lah kalau makan percuma. Hahahahaha. Nda rugi juga jadi kapten la kalau begini. Kekekekeke.pergh, kalau terfikir pasal kerja-kerja dia,mmg sakit juga la. Kecewa ni. Tahun ni teda milo free. Hahahahahaha. Sebenarnya rasa terkilan sikit, sukan kami teda masuk dalam sukan Majlis Sukan Universiti Malaysia,MASUM. Tapi ada sukan IPT nanti bulan oktober. (Haish, part latihan ni yang bikin banci. :p nevermind.

P/S: haish, boring. Malas suda mau menaip! Bye! Sepatutnya saya bawa buku cerita tadi. Dem! ==

saja ja

pagi2 buta ni memang mau tidur suda, kejapppp lagi. Sebelum tu mau kongsi dulu. Saya rasa gembira sebab saya sudah menemui apa yang saya mau capai dalam hidup. Apa yang saya mau buat, apa yang saya mau capai. So pasal tu saya rasa happy. Saya ada tujuan dan impian untuk dicapai. Nda la cakap sebelum ni tiada, tapi kabur2 ba. Hahahahaha. Saya akan berusaha! Saya akan mengekalkan semangat ni! Ini adalah cabaran baru untuk diri. Saya pasti boleh buat. Go for it!

P/S: semakin lama, 'in a relationship' bukan lagi keutamaan. Mungkin level of ignorant akan meningkat, mungkin juga hati yang karas buli jadi lembut. Hahahaha. (Kalau mau tetidur suda, mmg sewel2 suda) selamat tidur! ;)

Saturday, May 26, 2012

kadang-kadang

Kadang-kadang (selalu start dengan kadang-kadang,uncertainty is me) saya bertanya,kenapa saya tidak macam dia? Kenapa saya begini? Mcm soalan bodoh2 kan? Tapi inilah dunia sebenar.. Saya tidak tau la orang lain,tapi saya terfikir juga,bukan selalu,kadang-kadang seja. Lepas tu ko rasa down berabis,frust pun ada,kecewa,mcm2 la ba. Tapi tidak lama la, sebab saya mesti cari jalan untuk kasi ceria diri sendiri.

"If people feel down, cheer them up. If you feel down,cheer yourself up",tagline kegemaran saya. Sebab sandi juga ba kalau down lama-lama. Ko ingat orang mo kisah ka? Simpan angan-angan kosong,bangun dr mimpi-mimpi indah! Mungkin ni hari ada kawan atau keluarga yg kasi happy kamu. Bukan semua orang boleh hidup selama-lamanya. In the end,you were born alone (kalau twin pun bukannya sama timing), you die alone. So? Pandai-pandai la pikir sendiri.

Saya ingat lagi,dulu saya selalu rasa sedih dengan keadaan diri saya. Rasa sangat malang. Sampai tahap depresi melampau. Macam bermasalah betul kan? Tapi masa itu guru kehidupan,buka mata,buka minda,buka hati. Pasti ada ruang untuk lebih dewasa. Masa berlalu dan itu semua tinggal sejarah. Mungkin sebab ini saya suka subjek sejarah. Sejarah yg menjadi asas kepada kehidupan,tapi sejarah tetap sejarah. Tidak boleh diubah. Tapi,masa depan itu penuh dengan kejutan. Perkara atau kejadian yang menghalang kita maju kehadapan boleh membantu kita maju. Keindahan sesuatu perkara ialah terdapat kebaikkan dan keburukkan pada masa yg sama. Keseimbangan alam. "Manage your expectation, handle your dissappoinment."

Saya rasa saya alone, tapi bila difikir balik,saya ni sebenarnya sangat bertuah. Saya mungkin tiada keluarga yg kaya,tiada keluarga yg sempurna,selalu kena kasi tinggal2,dan macam2 lagila (saya mmg kaki komplen). Saya bertuah sebuah kehidupan yg orang lain tiada. Saya mungkin tidak rasa apa yg ko rasa,tapi ko pun sama juga. Kan? Jadi? Bolehla ba tu buat sebab ko bersyukur kan? Ko belajar perkara dalam hidup,orang lain pun belajar juga. Balance la tu. Apa yg ko ada dengan apa yg dia ada berbeza,ada kebaikkan dan keburukkan. "Nobody knows everything, we all learning."

P/S: banyak pula saya kasi selit quote kan? Ni smua adala daripada orang lain yg ada pengalaman hidup yg lebih banyak dr saya,diorang melalui mcm2 perkara yang saya rasa saya mungkin tidak akan lalui,belajar. Keindahan pengalaman, sentiasa berlainan, bergantung bagaimana ko mau gunakan. "What's best for for you, might be worst for you." Dan sekali lagi, lihatlah daripada perspektif yg berbeza-beza.Chiao~ ;)

straight to the point

kadang-kadang tertanya. Adakah ini satu anugerah atau satu sumpahan diri. Adakah ini perlu dikekalkan atau perlu diubah? Ingin menjadi diri sendiri ka mau jaga hati orang? Kejam ka saya kalau niat saya hanya mahu bersikap jujur?

P/S: maybe I can be more flexible bout it? I just can't find any definite solution bout it. I hate uncertainty, I hate wondering, I hate lies hypocrite. But I do feel that I'm moving towards it. *sigh*

Thursday, May 24, 2012

mengantuk..@.@

Mengantuk!!!! >.< Mata terasa sangat berat. Fikiran tidak boleh fokus. Mungkin disebabkan oleh penangan nasi lemak kerang yg ausem tadi. Mungkin juga pasal tidak cukup tidur. So, untuk mengelakkan diri memancing dalam kelas, buat ala entri blog. Memangla fikran melayang2, tapi ini saja pilihan yg yg ada. Mata mmh hampir2 tutup suda. Mo tidur dah ni.. (Tersengguk2, pandangan kabur) ==

Hari ni mo cerita pasal apa..hurm..owh! I found another thing to do beside updating blog! baca buku! Xhabis lagi buku saya.== [Umar Al-Khattab, Reformis 5unia Islam*

limpang2..

Sangat boring. Ada kelas jam8 pagi. Sekarang sedang berbaring malas kekenyangan. Mau tidur belum cuci muka,cuci kaki. Sehari sudah berlalu lagi,banyak yg berlaku kemarin. Menguji kesabaran dan perasaan. Terasa mau marah org, terasa mau memaki, terasa mau pukul2 org, terasa mau teriak dia, terasa mau meraung2 tekanan. Tapi rasanay selamat juga la, tiada yg menjadi mangsa maki hamun dan caci maki cerca kejian. Roomate sedang tidur dengan aman peluk patung dia yg comel(alolololol) hahahahaahahahah. Baru balik bilik ni, tadi diskasyen dengan kawan2. Kan bagus kalau bawa berbincang, senang siap kerja. Dan seperti biasa, saya la tukang kritik hebat! == saya ni ada bakat menjadi pengkritik kejam tiada perasaan, hati batu, hati buta, mulut cakap lepas. (Kejam terhadap diri sendiri) haahahahahahaha. Tapi siapa juga peduli kan?

P/S: mata semakin berat, cepat cuci kaki cuci muka! ;)

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

merepek. ==

hello! hari selasa, Tuesday. tiada juga yg special tapi terasa mau menulis sini. oh! ada sebenarnya yg mau ditulis, pasal semalam. semalam ada dinner PERSIS, Perkumpulan Siswa Siswi Sabah. ya la, saya memang org Sabah. :p tema dinner semalam ialah 'Prince and Princess'. fuh! semua memang cantik2 la semalam, memang berabis! hahahahahah. (Saya pun. :p) tapi macam biasa la, mesti lelaki yg kurang. Prince yg semakin susah.. Princess semakin banyak! Selamat tinggal zaman dulu2.. Hahahaha.. Is this a threat for me? Maybe. Tapi saya rasa ok jak pun. Sesiap yang rasa terancam, sila la cari USP or KSP (Unique Selling Point or Key Selling Point) hahahahaha. Sebagai budak marketing, jargon2 suda menjadi isi dalam diri. (Cheh, mo cakap diri bakal marketer yg berjaya la ni?hahahahaahah) god willing. ;) ok,balik kepada dinner semalam. saya dengan junior menjadi emcee informal. mungkin banyak yang rasa bosan semalam. but, saya puas hati dapat bercakap! (Punyala selfish! hahahahahah) sorry la rakan2, saya memang suka bercakap dan juga menulis. tapi off course la bukan formal. sebab saya ni bukan la bersopan santun,berbudi bahasa, saya cakap seja apa yg saya mu cakap. siapa tersinggung,minta maaf la, bukan cara saya menjaga setiap hati. just treat u like an adult. hahahahah. again I'm out of topic.

P/S: it was fun last night..:) that's it! :p

Monday, May 21, 2012

frustrated and annoyed

I feel frustrated. Really frustrated. I tell myself many times that not everyone can accept what you say to them. But yes, when you are someone close to me. Why can't you listen first. You totally reject it. I wouldn't care if its from other person, but its really hurt me. I know you can't see it, but can't you open up your mind? I tried to explain, but maybe that comes with the saying, 'if you already hate it, you can't find any goodness in it. I know I sound pathetic here. It hurts me to know that you already blocked your mind because of the thing that you hate. Yeah, it just me. I'm so stupid because feeling like this. Maybe I should let it slide. But you know what, I would not let this annoy me so long. Cause I know its not worth it. I tried to help but you are the one that don't want to be helped. Someday, you will see it. I know you will.

P/S: annoyed plus frustrated. lesson of the day: don't just reject other people words, no need to accept, but try to listen before you reject it. and, don't let those kind of people annoy you. they are not stupid, it just that they don't see what you see. they don't think the way you think.. chill!!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

some random thought

while in class today, we are doing some discussion about 1Malaysia products and services. 1Malaysia products and services. new initiative, have good potential but still in the introduction stage. we are doing analysis about 1Malaysia products and services, about the potential and problems. in the same time, searching for solution for all the problems. well, its only recommendations though. its hard and stressful if you do in last minute, which is I always did. hahahaha. but in the same time, it is really a good issues to be looked at. 

p/s: whether we like it or not, we have no other choice than to get used of it. real world, realities. full of uncertainty, open up to opportunity, take risk, positive thinking.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

mumble.mumble

Everyone have some little secret that they don't want others to know. Some of them are shared between close/ best friend. Some of them just prefer to keep it totally secret. And I know that some of them want to share it with someone but the 'someone' is not there (not yet found la~) hahahahaha.

Okay, that is my intro. probably what I'm about to write will be totally no correlation with what I want to write here. Actually, I just want to have more control on myself. To achieve things I want to get. To do things that I need to do. My level of prioritize are very sucks. Sometimes I just can't differentiate/confused on which is more important to do. But I know 1thing for sure, I hate losing. I always want to be on top and forgot the essential of be on the bottom. I know a lot of people want to be on top, the view is more wide on the top and you can see a lot of things. But do you know that if you are at the bottom, although your view is limited but you can focus on the one in front of your eyes. And not forgotten, when you look up, you can see the people above you and you can set your target. You will be more motivated! (depends on how you perceive it)

some advice from me to me:
1. when you are on top, don't forget to look down and remember your struggle all the way to where you are now.

2. when you are on the bottom, don't give up and set your goals to be on top. cherish the experience, enjoy the journey to the top.

:)

Monday, May 7, 2012

tekanan.bertangguh.

*tarik nafas dalam-dalam dan hembus dengan kuat sambil menjerit*
"warghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

okay, tidak berkeinginan untuk menulis secara formal harini. dan perasaan untuk menulis guna bahasa rojak atau campur-campur sedang membuak-buak. ini merupakan suatu luahan perasaan yang tidak tenteram. apa kes tidak tenteram ni? mungkin kalau kamu berada di tempat saya masa ni, kamu dapat rasa haba-haba ketidaktenteraman ni.

minggu ini, sudah masuk minggu ke-12. kenapa pula kalut? baru minggu ke-12, belum lagi final exam (sebulan lagi la!!!). chill suda. chill? masuk esbok pun nda boleh chill suda ni. cair kali tu ais2 dalam esbok. minggu ni la smua assignment mau dihantar! wade? terasa mau menghantak kepala pun ada ni skrg! sambil menangis2. (sangat la buruk tu imaginasi) bukan banyak pun subjek ni sem, 4ja. tapi? kenapa pula mau kalut2 ni? itu la paling buat sakit hati. subjek sikit, tapi kenapa banyak masalah ni? sebelum ni, setakat 6/7 subjek, nda juga sampai begini tekanan dia. (yaka? lupa suda.hahahahhaha)

ini tidak boleh jadi ni. kalau berterusan begini memang sandi! target mau dean list, tapi kalau begini la gaya ni, makin lama makin jauh tu dean list melambai-lambai. sakit hati! bertenang diri, berhenti fikir bukan-bukan!! cuba ko start buat tu kerja pink! mengeluh seja kerja ko ni sekarang. macamlah boleh siap kalau ko mengeluh-ngeluh sana kan? apa ba yang ko bertangguh-tangguh ni? suka betul ko bertangguh kan? :'(

*terasa mau menangis*

P/S: How I wish someone can give me some motivation during this state. So sentimental thinking aren't that? Screw you!

Friday, April 13, 2012

early morning..

Hi! This is my first post using my new Blackberry! Its been 5days since I started using this Blackberry.. Overall? Still satisfied.. But! I got problem with Digi line in the beginning. They keep notifying me that my credit balance is insufficient. To think that I just reloaded my number, it really makes me feel annoyed! Luckily its only line problem.. If Digi really strangle my credit like that, I would never hesitate to terminate its BB plan..hahahahah..

Actually I just woke up,plan to sleep again later.. Yesterday, there are earthquake happens at Acheh.. Its really near to Penang. I didn't feel the 1st earthquake, and only feel the 2nd earthquake.. Its my first time feel the shake from an earthquake! What an experience!! I see things are moving! Its predicted that it will arrive in Penang at 9pm last night.. But I didn't get any update about it..hopefully everything will be ok..

Last night I attended the Infonite about a business plan,interesting.. maybe I can learn something from this..Looking forward to this idea..


*I feel somehow down.. it is understandable if my mom doesn't know anything about hppening here..But my dad? Maybe he still doesn't know about it..I will wait..(And 'he' actually called me last night asking about my condition here! At least he still concern..) I will wait for you dad..

Monday, March 26, 2012

A month without any update!

       wow~ hahahaha. I'm really busy, maybe not busy but has many things to do! I'm really exhausted, mentally and physically! My emotion are not stable and my patient also tested! :'( I'm about to be in mega depress but luckily I still got my entertainments and lots of other things to do. Almost every night of meetings, paperwork to submit, report to submit, event to handle and also people attitude to handle! The last time I update my blog was before the semester started and now its already the 5th week! What did I do this 5 week? Let me list out the sequence of events. (checking my planner)

20 Feb - Second semester started!

22 Feb - Meeting at Putrajaya

22 & 23 Feb - Site visit (Felda Gunung Besout 2, Sungkai, Perak)

25 Feb - Paris 1month! :) (Alice's daughter)

1Mar - Final check ICT Village

2 - 4 Mar - ICT Village (Felda Gunung Besout 2, Sungkai, Perak) (for this event, I was in-charge for the opening and closing! Thanks to En Jaya, that is something new for me and it turned to be good experience.)

5 Mar - Ko-K Karate started (finished my ko-k long time ago but because of the Secretary is away, I have to take over and as the Vice President have to meet the junior and recruit for new karate club members)

6 Mar - Start practice for MCB 2012 (ohhh, forgot to mention, I'm the one that responsible for the songs that we will use, the step and choreograph. Which is kind of challenging for me! wargh!not forgotten, every night training for 4-5 hours!)

6 Mar - Meeting for Karate Closed Tournament. (I really don't understand, we already started last semester and still last minute? Really don't understand, my first experience as the Head of Project. Quite disastrous.)

17 Mar - Fit and Feminine Volleyball (2nd place! hahahaha)

17 Mar - Final check for Karate Closed Tournament.

18 Mar - Karate Closed Tournament

19 Mar - ICT Village report due

20 Mar - Edit ICT Village report

21 Mar - Letter of Appointment for University Ambassador (Dewan Agung Tuanku Canselori, UiTM Shah Alam)

to summarize:

1. University Ambassador (UA)
2. Karate Club (Vice President & Head of Karate Closed Tournament)
3. PERSIS (Malam Citra Bayu 2012)

I know that out there there are people who are lot more busier than me and the example are really close to me. I know that person.Hahaha. But this is really something! I wish that this year I will become wiser and learn lot of new things. And yes, I experience lot of thing and hunger for some more! maybe later I will explain about the activities/events that I joined/involved. Tonight I just want to post the reasons why I didn't write in my blog for such a long time.

P/S: I'm happy that my result for last semester improved and was the best result during my university year! Although didn't get dean list, I'm still grateful for it. Now I'm aiming for dean list this semester! But based on my schedule, I'm afraid I will not have time for study! :'( I need to control myself more! Study! Study! Study!