Happy Mother's Day

I suddenly remembered....

I only celebrated 'mother's day' 1time with my mum...

sounds really cruel huh?

but what to do??

every time it was mother's day...

I'm not at home...or you are not there...or I didn't find you...

I'm sorry for the problems that I caused you..

I'm sorry for the time when we fight...

I'm sorry for the time when I ignored your advices...

I want to thank you...

for giving me birth...

the greatest gift I ever received in my life is the chance to see this world...

thanks for the gift....

I will never cried again for the days that I need you...

and you are not there..

I will not hate you anymore for the time you leave me when I begged you to stay...

I still remember when I used to cry back then...

I only can cry in the darkness....

I cry and cry...

I miss you...

I still remember when i asked you to stay and you just leave...

the cut that u leave make my heart bleed...

Now the scars remain there....

and shaped me who I am today...

I try my best to not regretting for the time that had passed...

nothing can be change for the time back then...

we cant reverse the time that already passed...

don't worry about me...

I will take care of myself...

I believe I am strong enough to face this world..

and I hope you can be strong to face your problems..

stop running...

running will not help you any longer...

I will be here...

If you need someone to talk...

don't do anything ridiculous...

I only have 1mum now...

(since grandma already passed away, she is the person that I think was my mother back then)

happy mother's day...

P/S: To my late grandma..It was already 2years when you leave me...I still feel guilty for not attending your funeral.. you also didn't have the chance to see me when you are in critical condition.. It make me sad when I remember how you lay at the hospital bed... you look so helpless and i wish i can do something with it...the last time i saw you when you still can walk.. you hug me and cry, you tell me to take care and study hard... it was a day before i'm gone to Matriculation College... You always say you wish to see me study at University and attend my graduation day.. Now i already study at University but you already gone.. i know you watching me and you will appear in my dream to remind me.. may god bless your soul there..