Its almost the end of June. And I'm approaching to reach the age of 'free to do anything'. I will be back to Sabah on early July. To see my friends and family that I haven't seen for a year. Next week the MASUM will be held in UPM. I'm looking forward to this event since this event is the reason that I'm stuck here. Quite annoying being stuck here, but after some time I enjoyed my time here. And the intention of going back become less and lesser. Its not that I'm not excited to go back, but the good time I'm having here, I don't want it to end. But life has to go on right? I believe that when I'm at my hometown, I will be having fun to the max! Like seriously don't want to go back USM later. hahahah. For the memories here, it just worth to keep it. I knew it would. Where you can see a guy that blush? hahaha.. Only at my favorite spot.:p

Hold on girl.. Don't fall.. Stand strong and keep smiling..:)

BF idaman sekolah menengah? LOL

Sedang membelek-belek buku lama, terjumpa sesuatu yang sangat menarik. Buku apa? Siapa penulis dia? Apa pula yang menarik? Buku ni, bukan lah ditulis oleh penulis yang terkenal. Penulis ini pun belum pernah menerbitkan buku lagi. Penulis buku ini adalah saya sendiri! hahahahaha.. Apa yang menarik? Hurm, sebenarnya saya terjumpa profail diri yang saya tulis semasa saya sekolah menengah. Ada satu seksyen yang saya rasa lucu kalau di ingatkan balik. Seksyen 'Ciri-ciri BF Idaman'. Biarpun saya ni ganas sikit, saya masih lagi boleh tulis ciri-ciri BF idaman. APAKA? hahahahaha..

Okay, mari saya kaji balik ciri-ciri BF idaman saya dulu. heheheheheh.

1.Comel - alalalalala...hahahaha... Saya memang suka benda-benda yang comel? LOL. Rasanya macam mana la lelaki comel ni aaa? Saya sangat lemah kalau berdepan dengan benda-benda yang comel ni. Comel itu adalah sesuatu yang subjektif. Dan memang ia berbeza-beza mengikut citarasa individu tersebut. Bagi saya, lelaki comel adalah seperti ini:

Saya sangat meminati lelaki ini! Dari dahulu sampai sekarang! hahahaha... Saya rasa dia sangat comel! Dulu saya tidak terdedah dengan lelaki-lelaki Korea yang lagi 'HOT' dari dia. hahahah. Tapi saya memang suka lelaki ini dari dahulu, Nicholas Teo. Suara merdu dan comel! *pengsan*

2. Caring - penyayang. BF saya mestilah penyayang supaya saya boleh rasa yang saya disayangi. *blush* LOL. Tapi secara lojiknya, semua orang inginkan lelaki yang penyayang kan? hehehe. Kalau sudah jadi BF, mestilah dia sayang kan? 

3. Selesa - Hurm, selesa ni maksud dia saya tidak kekok dengan dia dan saya boleh jadi diri saya yang sebenar. Kalau difikirkan balik, saya memang cepat selesa dengan orang. Tapi masalahnya, saya selalu kekok kalau dengan BF saya sendiri. Motif? Tidak pasti! hahahaha. Kawan biasa dan teman lelaki istimewa (BF). Asal dengan BF mesti kekok. Hurm, sifat semula jadi. Mungkin? Parah la kalau macam ni kan. :p

4. Memahami - hohohoh. Ini pun sangat umum! Kalau BF saya tidak faham dengan diri saya, tidak mungkin saya akan bersama dia. Tapi lelaki ni susah juga la mau cakap. Mula-mula dia faham la, lama kelamaan ada saja yang tidak betul. Kalau cara dia menegur tu berpatutan dan saya boleh terima, akan diusahakan untuk berubah. Bukan senang mahu berubah. Kalau dia cuba memahami saya, saya akan cuba memahami dia. Kata kunci bagi poin ini ialah bertolak ansur. kan? :p

5. Menghormati privacy - Ini sangat lah umum. Dia harus hormat privacy saya. Saya pun tidak tahu macam mana mau terangkan ni poin. Apa lah yang saya fikirkan masa saya sekolah menengah dulu? hahahahah

6. Tinggi - hahahaha. Ini harus! Tidak payah la tinggi sangat. Paling penting tinggi dari saya! hahahaha. Biarpun orang cakap kalau lelaki lagi rendah dari perempuan, lagi berkekalan. Saya tetap mahu yang tinggi! hahaha. Sangat pelik kalau saya lagi tinggi..;p

7. Tidak gemuk - woahhh~ Tidak gemuk disini bukan bermaksud kurus melampau. huhuhu. Sederhana. (sangatlah umum~) hahahahaha. Berisi? Mungkin. :D

P/S: Senarai ini sangatlah pendek! hahaha. Mungkin bermaksud saya bukanlah seorang yang pemilih? hahahahaha. Mungkin juga masa itu fikiran masih kebudak-budakan? Tidak pasti. Kalau difikirkan kembali, ada sesetengah ciri-ciri yang masih relevan. (pada pendapat saya la~) Macam poin selesa. Diakui, saya senang selesa dengan orang disekeliling saya. Tapi kalau dengan BF, macam selalu rasa tidak selesa? Pelik! Macam mana saya boleh rasa tidak selesa, dan macam mana dia boleh menjadi BF saya? Terlalu complicated! :P Tinggi tu masih lagi dalam senarai. Tidak gemuk pun masih boleh diterima pakai, tapi tidak berapa relevan. Sebab kalau hati sudah sayang, susah la mau cakap.:p 

Sekarang saya bukan pelajar sekolah menengah. Sudah meningkat dewasa, tetapi mungkin belum matang dalam membuat pertimbangan. Selalu perasaan mengatasi fikiran? Mungkin tidak, sebab saya selalu menghadapi konflik antara fikiran dan perasaan. Saya pasti semua pun ada konflik macam tu kan? Sekarang tiada masa mahu memikirkan tentang BF, sebab hubungan yang lebih serius menjadi pertimbangan. Kekecewaan pada masa lalu mungkin memberi impak yang hebat dalam hidup seseorang. Perasaan ini sangat subjektif, kadang kala kita menyukai seseorang disebabkan mutu fizikal mereka. Ada yang menyukai seseorang disebabkan sifat dan sebagainya. Tidak lama lagi saya akan mencecah 21tahun, saya berharap saya akan menemui seseorang yang boleh menjadi bakal suami dan bukan sekadar BF. BF bukan lagi menjadi persoalan, tetapi seseorang yang mampu menjadi suami yang diutamakan. 

Salah satu sifat saya. :D

Okay, entri ini saya tulis dalam bahasa melayu sebab sudah lama saya tidak menulis dalam bahasa melayu. Takut nanti terlupa dan ayat menjadi lintang-pukang(secara serius, memang tidak pernah tersusun pun..hahahaha). Sebenarnya, saya pun tidak pasti apa yang ingin saya merepek dalam entri saya pada kali ini. Saya tidak mempunyai idea untuk berkata-kata. Idea itu ada tetapi memang tidak berpatutan untuk diluahkan disini. Nanti ada pulak orang mengata, mengutuk dan sebagainya. Tapi saya selalunya memang pun dikutuk dan dikata, jadi tidak kisah la kan? hahahaha

Saya memang suka berkawan. Dan saya memang ada bermacam-macam jenis kawan. Dari yang baik sampai lah yang kurang baik (kalau cakap jahat, kejam pula kan??). Tapi kadang-kadang saya ni pendiam juga lah kalau dikelilingi orang yang saya tidak kenal atau pun kawan-kawan yang hanya berkaitan dengan akademik. Saya pun tidak pasti kenapa saya bersikap macam tu. Dari zaman sekolah menengah sehingga la menjejak ke matrikulasi, saya tidak rapat dengan rakan-rakan sekelas. Sampai ada yang mengatakan saya ini sombong, mungkin juga. Tapi saya yakin saya bukanlah seorang yang sombong. Saya seorang yang sangat suka bercakap, boleh bercakap mengenai banyak perkara. :p Kadang-kadang saya sangat suka merepek dan bergurau. Sesiapa yang terlalu serius pasti tidak boleh menerima gurauan saya. Gurauan saya juga selalu menimbulkan salah faham. Adakah saya terlalu melampau? Saya sendiri kurang pasti. Perasaan berbelah-bagi selalu menimbulkan persoalan. Dan juga kadang-kala saya terjerat dengan lawak saya sendiri.

Lupa saya sebutkan, saya memang suka berkawan. Tetapi cenderung kepada kawan lelaki. Sebab? Ada bermacam-macam sebab dan saya tidak pasti apa sebab yang sebenarnya. Tapi, saya dapat rasakan, tidak kira apapun sebab yang saya berikan, orang tetap akan menilai mengikut kehendak dan pandangan mereka tersendiri. Kalau menurut diri saya sendiri, saya selesa bergaul dengan lelaki sebab saya memang dah biasa? hahaha. Secara kronologinya (semasa saya kecil), saya tidak suka bergaul dengan perempuan kerana merasakan mereka ini amat menyusahkan, leceh, sangat merimaskan, banyak songeh, dan sebagainya. Mungkin kerana pemikiran saya pada masa itu merumuskan semua perempuan seperti itu dan saya terlupa bahawa saya juga seorang perempuan? Saya tidak suka berkelakuan lembut seperti perempuan (yang sejati la, hahaha) dan saya tidak sedar ada perempuan yang lebih ganas daripada saya? Oppsss, saya tidak bermaksud merumuskan bahawa saya seorang yang ganas tetapi saya menafikan bahwa saya seorang yang lemah lembut. :) Kalau dengan kawan perempuan, saya akan secara automatik akan bertukar watak. Melainkan saya betul-betul rapat dengan perempuan tersebut.

Ada beberapa orang kawan yang agak rapat mengatakan bahawa saya seorang penggoda. Baiklah! Itu kedengaran sungguh menakutkan. Seperti ada yang tidak betul. Saya tidak selesa dikatakan sebagai penggoda kerana bagi saya itu bukanlah sesuatu yang baik. Saya telah cuba untuk mengawal sifat terlalu peramah dan kadang kala itu menyebabkan saya terpaksa berpura-pura dan kadang kala menimbulkan persoalan lain dalam diri saya. Berpura-pura itu sangat memenatkan. Berpura-pura itu juga sangat membebankan fikiran. Bagi seorang seperti saya, perkara seperti ini boleh menganggu ketenangan hidup saya. Saya merasakan diri saya sangat lemah dan saya memang tidak suka berkeadaan seperti itu.

Saya rasa setakat ini dahulu luahan entri saya pada kali ini. Apa yang dapat saya katakan disini, saya hanya menjadi diri saya sendiri. Walaupun saya sedar ada keburukan disebalik diri saya yang sebenar, saya juga tahu tidak ada benda yang sempurna bebas daripada keburukkan. Dan saya ingin mengatakan bahawa saya akan menjadi diri saya sendiri dan jika saya akan berubah suatu hari nanti, itu adalah sesuatu yang tidak pasti tetapi tidak mustahil. Kepada kawan-kawan yang rapat dengan saya, anda mesti pernah terfikir mengenai sikap saya ini. Saya tidak akan menyalahkan orang lain diatas pendapat mereka terhadap sikap saya. Saya percaya, kawan saya tidak mengadili saya hanya berdasarkan sikap saya yang satu ini. Pasti ada kriteria lain yang melayakkan saya untuk menjadi kawan mereka.

Right now at this moment, I just hope that I can cry out loud to ease my uneasiness inside of me.

Eat a lot of things or maybe sing my heart out to make me forget this stupid feeling.

Right now I long for the feeling of secure just by a hug.

I miss the feeling when I hug a person and all this mess fade away.

"Still love her, in my mind. Still love her forever"

Hancur hatiku, mengenang dikau

Menjadi keping-keping, setelah kau pergi

Tinggalkan kasih sayang,

yang pernah singgah, antara kita

Masihkah ada, sayang itu

[#:]

Memang salahku, yang tak pernah bisa

Meninggalkan dirinya, ‘tuk bersama kamu

Walau ‘tuk t’rus bersama,

‘kan ada hati, yang ‘kan terluka

Dan ku tahu, kau tak mau

[Reff:]

Sekali lagi maafkanlah,

karena aku, cinta kau dan dia

Maafkanlah, ku tak bisa,

tinggalkan dirinya

Mungkin tak mungkin, ‘tuk terus bersama

Jalani semua cinta, yang t’lah dijalani

Tapi bila itu yang,

kau pikir yang ter-baik untukmu

Bahagiaku, untuk dirimu

[Reff]

[Bridge:]

Simpan sisa-sisa, cerita cinta berdua

Walau tak tersisa, cerita cinta berdua

Still I have, in my eyes

Still I have forever

[#] ~~

[Reff] (x2)

Still love her, in my mind

Still love her forever

P/S: This song is so damn sad! But I love it because it was touching. It bring back memories. If guy dedicate this song to you, are you supposed to be happy or sad? Happy to know that you are loved? Sad to know that you can be with the person you love? Ahmad Dhani was looking cool here, by the way he is cool all the time! hahahaha. This a great song! Nice lyric, nice melody and nice way to break someone heart! 

(hoping to shed some tears listening to sad songs, but ain't no tears that coming out. It just burden my heart..:( But to be logically, I just so love those sad songs! Pathetic huh? )

Lagu - Bo Amir Iqram

VuuTV - Watch Video

Bo Amir Iqram

Hariku
Harus dipenuhi dengan kehadiranmu sayangku
Fikiranku
Hanya dipenuhi dengan senyumanmu

Alangkah indah
Jika dirimu sentiasa
Di sisiku sayangku
Berikanku hanya satu
Hanya satu
Lagu

Hariku
Harus dipenuhi dengan kemanjaanmu cintaku
Fikiranku
Hanya dipenuhi dengan suaramu divaku


P/S: this song is so sweet! very cute song and quite happening! looking forward to listen more songs from Bo Amir Iqram! Enjoy people! No regrets! Nice song! Support Malaysian music industry! <3

“Mouth is in our faces, I can’t stop them, and they can’t stop me.”

People always dreamed to be something or someone in their life. It could be anything! To the realistic and fantasy. Anything! But do they really pursuing their dream? Ask people around, do they achieved their dream? Do they already satisfied in their life? What is success means to them?

Another finding in my surfing session. A man aged 44 years old, will be making his 15th attempt to enter college this year! When is it? Its today! 7th of June 2011! He is known as 'the first iron head in China' for the number and determination of attempt to enter the college examination. He will be sitting with her son in the National College Entrance Examination. He is Liang Shi, a businessman (from a source saying that he is millionaire!), his first attempt to enter university was in 1983 and he is enrolled to the national entrance exam until 1988 but he failed all the examination.

Liang Shi had been working since 1990 and changing jobs (mechanist, timber jack, clothing and television vendor) before starting his own construction materials business in 1995. He is quite successful now with 200workers working under him last year! (the workers might be more than that now!) Beside the fact he changing his jobs before owning his own company, he also studying hard for the exam all these years but not obtaining enough marks to pass the exam. His dreams is to be admitted to Sichuan University to study in Math major.

His son is not quite happy with him for some reasons, maybe? But his wife is quite supportive with his effort.

“Mouth is in our faces, I can’t stop them, and they can’t stop me.”

"i have four sisters and brothers, and none of us is a college graduate. thus i think it's worthy of fighting for in realizing this dream for my family," liang shi was quoted as saying

"Whatever I do, I still take care of the family well, I did not neglect them and my business."

Although Liang Shi has failed in his past 14 attempts, he said: "I will not give up."

Asked if he was confident that he would pass this year, he said: "The revision did not go that well, but I will do my best!"

Think back people. Have you been this determined to achieve your dream? 

Sources:

http://www.dailychilli.com/news/12065-man-to-make-15th-attempt-to-enter-college

http://www.silobreaker.com/man-to-make-15th-attempt-to-enter-college-5_2264620861220716638

http://www.eyeonchina.org/2011/06/06/liang-shi-fifteenth-time-to-attend-college-entrance-examination/

http://articlesxrecent.co.cc/en_article_articles-recent_3/

For all students out there, how many time you have faced with the failures? How many times you get back and pursuing your target?

I feel that is just normal when you feel frustrated or sad when you failed. But don't drag it too long, get up and try again! There is nothing impossible in this world as long as it is realistic to achieve! Some people even prove to the world that impossible things can be made with hard work! For students, fail or didn't achieve your target is not an excuse for you to let it go. You still can try harder to achieve your target or dream as long as you are breathing and have the will! 

P/S: Thanks Liang Shi! You just make me inspired to do better in my next exam! I will be supporting your intention and hopefully you can pass the examination this year! Go for it! Its almost 2 am in the morning! Time to sleep. :D

Abused for not calling 'mom'?

      I was surfing the web and browse through some news. Its kind of silent night, my current room mate is already asleep. Certainly can't watch funny movies or anime, I will laugh like stupid person and disturb her sleeping. She need to wake up for internship work tomorrow. As for me, I need to wake up earlier for morning jog. It is important for the so called 'captain' me to set a good example to the rest of the team. But yeah, I'm not gonna sleep now. :p

     My late grandmother was quite a fierce lady. Not quite but sangat  fierce! My mother? Well, she is not so fierce but so hard-headed. I think I was the hybrid of this two lady. :P I'm growing up watching this two lady fighting every time they meet or even worst when there are issues arises. The fighting scene is not only limited to word-fighting. No need to elaborate. =.=" I'm close to my late grandmother because she is the one that raise me up since I was a baby and I only known my mother when I was 3 years old by coincidence and I swear I was totally speechless that time. I'm speechless, blur and just follow my mother and watching my late grandmother crying. It was very sad moment that people may thought only exist in drama. Not for me. I was in the middle, my late grandma (I call her Inak, means mother in Kadazan/Dusun language) and my mother was pulling my hand both side. Drama? I would call it reality. .............................

< stop with my childhood memory, enough for the opening>

     This post is written because of an article I found at www.dailychilli.com. It was about a 5years old girl that abused by her mom! Well, a lot of stories mother abuse her child with their own reasons. But her reason seemed to be ............(no words to describe it)....... She abused her 5 years old daughter for not calling 'mom'! In the first place, why she didn't call her 'mom'?

This 5years old girl named Linlin was returned to her parent home's April last year. She been living with her grandmother since she was a baby and didn't acknowledged her mom and refused to call her 'mummy'. Her mother feels annoyed about it and started to beat the girl since then. She have 9 years old sister and 3 years old brother. She was taken care by her grandmother since her mother had no time to watch her, working parents.

"She beat me everyday, with her hands, legs, sticks, hangers, bricks…," Linlin told reporters at her hospital bed on Wednesday.

Wang punched her daughter and fractured her rib bones. She also cut her with a pair of scissors and hit her hands with bricks.

"She was also found to be suffering from malnutrition," said Dr Ni Daolei, adding that her condition was stable now.

Her mother even beat with bricks? Thats really sound very nice huh? Punched her own daughter? Cut with a pair of scissors? Is she is mentally ill? And what her mother says about this?

"She ignored me, refused to call me 'mother'. She doesn't love me. See, I have never beaten her sister and brother," the 41-year-old Wang said.

Asked about the injuries, she answered bluntly: "They were certainly inflicted by me, I don't care."

"She doesn't love me?" How was supposed the 5 years old child to acknowledge her mother and love her when she is being taken care by her grandmother before? Maybe I don't know about how their family going, but I just can'y imagine how a mother can do these and not sorry for it? And another interesting fact? The mother is currently pregnant 7 month! She abuse her 5 years old daughter and carrying a baby in her belly? She doesn't afraid isn't it? The baby in her belly could have affected by it! She is arrested by the police but later was bailed out because she is pregnant. 

There is no story about the father, so I can't say anything about it. A concern neighbor surnamed Zhu that report this to the police.

"There was one time I saw the mother kicking Linlin until the girl landed outside the house.

"She crawled slowly to the door, then her mother stepped on her body several times. But Linlin dared not cry," he said, added the girl was given two meals a day.

"She ate a little bit in the morning, had no lunch and then ate the leftovers from the family at night," another neighbour said.

2meals a day?! Leftovers? Its really getting my nerves now! I can't believe this is happening in this world now.

The girls can be in trauma for this incident! It would affect her for a lifetime! Maybe she would never acknowledge the woman that so called her mother anymore. Who knows? 

P/S: Its only 5 years old and she didn't hesitate to beat her. Wait until she is 25 years old. Would her mother beat her for not calling her 'mom'? 

I'm really lucky and gifted because not abused in that way. 5 years old? Its a time when children are started to know and realized a it of their surrounding. I still can remember how my life is when I was 3 years old. I might be surrounded by a fierce and hard-headed women in my life, but this is just too much! I fight with them, but I love them so much. Its not only by words we can express love. Is she is too young (41 years old?!? My mom even younger than that when I was 5 years old!) to discover this? It would take some time for child to adapt their surrounding. And it can't be force through beating! Why can't the mother sit back and think 
about her action. That is not her first child and she is expecting another child soon. This is just too much. 


Resource :http://www.dailychilli.com/news/12029-girl-abuses-daily-for-not-calling-mom

Just random thought

Seriously, I'm kind of 'blur' right now. Well, my mind keep thinking about people in general and person to be specific. :) Who is that person? Naaa.. I'm not sure myself. So I don't want to talk about it now. Playing some Facebook applications. What applications? Some application about crush/date/ etc (pathetic huh?). But its good to make you laugh in the middle of the night. I can't say its 100% correct, but.. BUT. Scarily, few names appeared and I don't know how to say it. But its seriously kind of funny.

Living a single life might be fun when you have all your friend all around you. Not might be, yes it is. And its kind of creepy, hopeless, and many more when you are TOTALLY ALONE. Human mind are so mysterious and can be creepy sometimes. I'm not saying now I'm alone (without friends or crowds) but the FEELING of alone that creep me. Seriously, I feel hopeless, speechless, and sometimes lost. The power of mind really creeping me out.

I will start talking nonsense later. I already receive my brain signal that started to pour my thought here. But I will not adding the oil to the burning flame. It just like I end up strangling myself with all the words I pour. So, I sign here good bye. Till we meet again diary. :)

Brain-Boosting Food

Been pouring nonsense all this time. I think I should share some useful tips. And apart from that, learn something useful for me too. This tip was found while I was surfing the web. The tips that I want to share today is food that can help you boost your brain function. This tips was recommended by Dr Mike Moreno. Dr Mike Moreno is the author of The 17 Day Diet: A Doctor's Plan Designed For Rapid Results.


Well, since it was suggested by a doctor there is nothing wrong to apply it right? For those have allergies with the food listed, no need to eat them as an excuse to boost your brain. Instead of boosting your brain, you will end up at hospital bed. Worst? I will not mention it, you knew yourself. *touch wood*


Proceed to the tips..:D

1. Beef, extra lean: High in iron, a mineral that improves memory, alertness and attention span.

2. Beets: Contains phenylalanine, an amino acid that helps relay signals from one brain cell to another.

3. Blueberries: Excellent source of antioxidants and “anthocyanins,” compounds thought to help protect brain cells from toxins, improves use of glucose in the brain, and promotes communication between brain cells.

4. Broccoli: Packed with antioxidants and phytonutrients that help protect brain tissue from toxins.

5. Carrots: High in beta carotene and other natural substances that help protect brain tissue from toxins.

6. Chicken: High in tyrosine, an amino acid required for the production of the alertness chemicals dopamine, epinephrine and norepinephrine. When your brain is producing these, you think and react more quickly, and feel more motivated, attentive and mentally energetic. (absolutely not the live chicken! LOL)

7. Citrus fruits: Contain vitamin C and other antioxidants that help maintain sharp memory and help brain cells resist damage.

8. Edamame: Contains phenylalanine, an amino acid that helps relay signals from one brain cell to another.

9. Eggs: High in the B vitamin choline, which helps with memory.

10. Egg whites: High in protein, which can improve alertness by increasing levels of norepinephrine, which helps keep your brain at its sharpest.

11. Hot chilies: Contains the fiery-tasting chemical capsaicin. Capsaicin stimulates circulation, aids digestion, opens your nasal passages and, even better, sends a feeling of euphoria straight to your brain

12. Legumes: Provide glucose to fuel the brain, and the fiber they contain slows the absorption of glucose, helping to maintain stable levels of energy and support alertness and concentration overtime.

13. Pork: Loaded with vitamin B1, which protects myelin, a fatty substance that helps facilitate communication among cells. (only non-Muslim k? )

14. Romaine lettuce: High in folate, a B vitamin important for memory and nerve cell health.

15. Spinach: Packed with iron, which is involved memory, concentration, and mental functioning.

16. Tuna: Full of omega-3 fatty acids, which help build and maintain myelin.

17. Yogurt: A probiotic food that has been found in many studies to boost mental alertness.

P/S: I didn't own all the pictures above, its all taken from Google Image search engine.