Thursday Frustration

Thursday. I'm trying to figure out what actually I want. If this is the right decision for me? Would I regret after all these years? The situation are not much different but not the same. I'm stuck here and still trying to make some decision. Should I let this go or should I just be cool about it? The challenge is real. Would I spend the rest of my life to actually wondering 'what if/maybe/I should' . I could fall into despair. And if I'm despair, I will disappear. I really should take a break from all this wondering. Nothing is for sure. What I'm waiting? 

P/S: it is one of the night when I'm wondering what would this lead to? Apart from that, I have others important matter to be resolved. For this kind of current wondering matter, somehow deep down I know that this will not be resolved soon. It will take some time to make some important decision. 

Rant on Tuesday

I've been jobless for almost a week. And its killing me to actually sits at home doing nothing. Its annoying and tiring at the same time. 

Anyway, there's few thing that still pending. I need to figure out what should I do about it.

1. My father are coming to send my youngest brother that I never meet to private university next week. He ask me to find accomodation for him and his son. 

2. I need to find accomodation at my new place. I'm going to move out from Putrajaya soon. Thank you for the memories. I have to move on.

3. I need to find a part time job for this time being. Probably will go out tomorrow for job hunting. Best of luck there, its school holiday season. I need some income too.

4. Relationship? Lets see how this story goes.

I have a lot in mind for my new place. I want to stay in a nice place so I wont be too stressed even if I'm alone. This one year quality of life quite okay but I will do better for this coming year. 

After living for almost 3 decades, I feel that the concept of in a relationship might not worked well with me. Have to find new approach to make this more reasonable for me.

About religion? I really need to make up my mind? Well, life is unpredictable. I don't know when my time will come and strike me. 

P/S: My mind start wandering and my fingers keep typing. It became harder for me to go any deeper than my current writing. Emotion on rampage but I don't know how to express all of these. This is what I called fucked up moments. #keepliving #keepbelieving