Happy birthday Esther. :)

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me and me, happy birthday to me. *self clap,and yeay!*

I'm really grateful that I already live for 2* years. I'm currently in the phase of maturing. Thanks for all the wishes! I got less wishes this year because I kept my birthday private. (Forgot to mention, my birthday was yesterday, 26th of june) I don't really matter I get less wishes, I just want the people that really remember my birthday to wish me. It was even more meaningful. There are many people that you meet and know in this world but only few will remember and appreciate you. Thanks guys.

Birthday is like a curse that telling you the time is moving and you age is just added and friendly reminder that telling you that "what have you achieved, what have you done before adding the number in your age". Birthday is also a new hope for you to dom some new resolution, the target to achieve before the next birthday. Life is too short to be filled with sadness. Be happy! Its worth it.

This year, I'm sure that I've seen, heard and learn from the life path that I chose. Not perfect but its really impacting. I made some mistakes, I made some friends, I made decisions, I'm pursuing personal development and I know I'm better now. In my own words, thoughts and definition.

Melancholy attack during birthday. Feel restless and powerless. Words are hardly expressed through my mouth but thoughts are running endlessly in mind. I don't know or maybe pretend not to know what's happening to me. I will be better when I wake up later. This silent had make me feel restless. Almost spill everything out but I hate to be attached to someone. Its easy to be attached, but its so hard to detach. I learn to detach by not attached to people. Attachment might give you strength but you need a lot more strength to detach yourself.

P/S: last year birthday was too wonderful until this year birthday feel so awkward. It remind me of Katy Perry song,Thinking of You.

"Comparisons are easily done once you had the taste of perfection,"

Till we meet again diary, good night and sleep tight. :)

exam over!

Finally finished my exam for this semester. But still sleeping late. Watched some videos really flash back some memories. I almost forget about how it statrted but its all coming back to me. Those moments are irreplaceable. Only you! Yes! You! You are the only one. I missed you! :')

P/S: sleep! Have day out with friends later! ;)

paling manang.

*post bahasa pasar*

Ok, exam sudah start. Kemarin 1st paper. Saya pun xtaw apa la saya tulis tu. Antam seja la. Tapi rasa bersalah sama tu lecturer. Dia punya la bagus. Sorry Dr, saya sudah buat all out. Itu seja saya mampu. Semua kemahiran menganalisa hilang. Analisis ikut suka hati jak. Teda kronologi yang ngam. Hahahahahah. Next paper hari khamis. Study? Belum start. Sebab? Saya kan campen, paling campen kalau bab2 malas. Susa juga kalau terer btul jadi pemalas ni. Lepas exam jak kemarin, trus tidur! Sebelum tu adalah lunch ba. Hahahahah. Memang tidur kaw2 punya. Bangun2 jak, p mandi, makan trus tgk anime. Study? Ada juga la saya pegang tu buku. Pigang jak la,kasi susun bagus2. Lepas tu, anime lagi. Sambung2. Skrg? Mau tdur. Teda keyakinan mau start belajar. Tutup laptop, trus baring. Kalau lama2 sana meja, tgk anime seja la sampai pagi. Nnt siang banyak lagi mau setel. Tapi itu cerita nnt. Skrg saya mau tdur seja. Selamat songgom.

P/S: mimpi tadi petang masih lagi dalam kepala. Bersambung? Hahahahah. Panat weih!

Sunday morning :)

            Yeah! Finally! I’ve been posting from my Blackberry for quite some time. Laptop is only for Facebook, Youtube and anything that other than blogging. Idea doesn’t come easily but for sure it goes quite fast. The idea is still there but the inspiration or motivation to write is gone somewhere over the rainbow? Hahahahahaha. Okay, enough with this introduction. Now I will write what actually I want to write. :P

            Actually I’m really annoyed and frustrated! Why is that? Last night I sleep quite early, just 25minute past 12 a.m. It’s good! I’m grateful for that. Seriously! But what makes me really annoyed is just 15minute before 3a.m. I’m awake! Not to mention the pain in the ass and hungry! Damn it! Arghhhhhh! I want to wake up in the morning! This is way too early. L Tomorrow night (it’s actually tonight), I will make this work! I need to make this right. But yeah, I know what to do but it’s certainly not easy as I say. Because? I know what to do but I didn’t do what I know! It’s really hurtful statement, but the reality is like that!

“It’s not enough just to know what to do, it’s more important to do what you know!” – Unknown

            Read it back! Please wake up! We always says that, “yeah, I know that. But it’s not gonna work for me” or something like this “I know that would happen! But I didn’t do it”. You can define it from positive or negative perspective but I prefer to talk in positive side.

            For student like me, I always said that “I need/want/will do that revision and finish it (fill in the blank whatever statement you used to do)”. But what actually we did? I don’t know about you guys but me? I end up doing other things or maybe doing nothing! I kept telling to myself inside my mind but didn’t do anything. Make up some excuses, calm myself off and saying that this is normal. It’s just so amazing when you can make yourself feel good/calm/better/comfort when you did something not good or uncomfortable or whatever that can make you feel guilty. Sound harsh? Too bad, this is reality! *ouch!*

            For a melancholic like me, the tendency of thinking in details is one of my characteristic. But, in the same time, I don’t like thinking too much! It’s just making my head and mind in chaos state. You are playing and battling with yourself inside your mind. It’s really painful and annoying. I want to act like I don’t care or it doesn’t bother me, but it run inside my mind. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh. But it’s okay, nobody perfect. I’ve tried to do it. Not working 100% but surely has impact and getting better. “I feel regret for doing nothing when I can do something about it” Or “I’m glad I did that during that time”. Which one you prefer? Good morning people! Have a nice day.

P/S: feel more relaxed now. I think I can study now. J

another life phase. :)

Hello~ we meet again my little diary. For the past last week, I've been writing in more casual Malay and mixed language. I know its a violation and disgrace for language. Pardon me, I'm not belittle of the language. I'm just want to be more relaxed while expressing my thought. By the way, I'm already in my study week period. It would be more frequent in sleeping late I guess(I always sleep late though). Hahahahah.

Did I mention that I started a business? Well I guess not. But this business somehow not only about the money. It was more than that. I learn to improve my self esteem and in the same time, gaining some knowledge from the people that already suceeded in the business. Looking for financial freedom? Wanting for more time? Doesn't like the idea of working for the whole time? Want to improve on your soft skill? This is maybe what you looking for. You can ask me personally or inbox me get further information. I'm so excited about this business because I personally believe that this can change my life. People in the business has proven that. This not going to work for everyone. Only people with dream can do this. Because, you will strive for the dream. My dream that driving me in the business and you might want to get to know about it. There is no forces, its your choice.

"A man with a dream will not be denied"

"When you think you know about everything, that's the point when you stop learning"

The first saying will strengthen your faith in your dream. Reality is harsh but if you work hard enough, put your effort into it and spend some time to do it, it can be achieved. For the second saying, I believe that in this life, we all are learning. When you stop learning, you stop living your life. Learn something from everything because you will miss the point when you try to learn everything in a time. Don't rush because you might miss out the important things to learn.

In this business, people are changing. Off course to be a better person. If you keep yourself closed, you will never develop your true potential. That is a waste of life. Not everyone can be successful, only the people that have the intention to be successful, open to opportunity, evaluate the opportunity and pursue it by investing effort and strive for it. You might faced some obstacles in your journey but you have to hold on to your faith. The beauty of the business is they certainly will not let you struggle by yourself. They have sufficient support for you and your business. You might not like your team members in your work or assignments but you will love the team in the business. The true feeling in a team.

P/S: you can get the information from me about the business. Its your decision. I love what I'm doing because I want to achieve my dream. This is another phase in my life for developing my true potential and be success. :)

lepak-lepak

Okay, malam ni ambil feel lain sikit. Selalu post sebelum tidur, hari ni post melepak dulu pagi buta. Sekali sekala menikmati angin malam, hari2 berkurung dalam bilik, mana tahan! Tapi secara umum,saya memang lagi suka malam. Tenang dan damai. Mungkin tu la sebab dia saya selalu tidak tidur malam,sayang ba tu malam. Hahahahahaha. Belum lagi tidur la, tapi limpang2. Tengok bulan, tengok bintang, tengok langit (sambil suara2 latar bahasa cina). Ya,bukan saya saja yang lepak sini. Ada lagi satu kumpulan budak cina, tidak tau la apa cerita dorang. Abaikan. Sekarang kawasan hostel agak sunyi. Semua balik belajar. Hahahahahah. Kalau ingat2 balik,lama sudah tidak buat begini. Lepak2 tengok bintang. Lama sudah tidak tengok Dragon Ball (Dragon Ball disini merujuk kepada sekelompok bintang yang ada 7biji/butir. Selalu saya tengok dulu. Semenjak sampai d Penang,lama sudah tidak nampak.) Wahai Dragon Ball, mana ko ni? Lama tidak jumpa. ;)

P/S: biarpun saya suka bintang, suka bulan, suka langit, suka laut, saya tidak pernah buat kajian atau cuba menyiasat lebih mendalam. Mungkin saya lagi suka melihat sama menghayati daripada menjadi obses. Bila dipikir balik, memang saya tidak pernah obses lagi sama apapa. (Setahu dan semasa kesedaran saya laaaaaaa) hahahahaha..ok la, saya mau menikmati angin malam. Sehingga bertemu lagi. ;)