Pink's Diary

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Another scary dream!

I can't stand it..another dream appear! why am I dreaming all these kind of dream? SCARY! HORRIBLE! SURPRISING! ANNOYING! last night, i was dreaming something that really scary! but I couldn't refresh it...and when i went to bed this morning, i sleep at 4am..another scary dream appears! what i could remember is, i'm watching someone from the outside of the window,and the person was stuck there because of heavy rain.. There was a guy there and with a girl..I don't know what they doing there..then after the rain stopped, i was going to the pantry to take hot water..I'm in a such a hurry and wear my neighbor slippers,running to the pantry..I feel my foot was so heavy to run,but i continue running....and on the way back to my room, i encountered with the guy i saw outside my window,and he totally ignored me..the most pathetic incident is...his friend laugh at me and he just joined them...it hurt you so much when the guy that laugh at you is someone important to you...suddenly the hostels room are changed! they said the room already changed and i don't know where is my room and i couldn't find it...so i just walking around without slippers( the slippers was gone while i'm running),and looked really blur to my surrounding...i awake few times in my dream but when i sleep back...it was the same place that in my dream..then the environment changed...i was in my hometown and wandering with my friends at the weekend market..we just strolling and chatting...after that i can't remember what happened...but the last scene that leave me really big surprise when my mum suddenly holding a pistol and become out of control..she was crying and trying to shoot herself and my youngest brother..i rushed to her and hold the gun away from my brother...in the end,i'm the one who got shot at my chest..the last thing i remember in my dream is i just lying there after got shot and my mother totally ignored me...is this just my feeling?why i keep encountered with such dream?i started to feel uneasy about all this things! the beginning of this month was disasters for me...where i have to face my feelings and stressful work environment...with many things to do and i have to face some of people behaviors that really annoy me but i just can bear it and cannot just blurt it out...not only the people that i have known for a short while...same goes to the people that i had known for a period of time....and when some of it settled...now comes the series of bad dreams...if this series of stress continue to attack me...i'm really going to be dead soon...i want to do something that really can lessen my stress burden...one of it is by writing in blog...another method...will be discovered later..or should i try my old method?hurm....

*back to english mode,writing in bahasa make me speechless...*

Again... A horrible dream...

Tadi saya bermimpi buruk lagi.... kebelakangan ini saya sering bermimpi buruk... yang menakutkan saya ialah apabila saya bermimpi tentang diri saya sendiri...perkara yang saya ingin elakkan telah muncul dalam mimpi saya...saya semakin takut dengan apa yang saya mampu lakukan...sehingga kini, saya masih mencuba untuk menahan diri saya daripada terlalu marah atau tertekan... saya cuba menenangkan hati apabila terasa hendak marah.. pengalaman terdahulu meninggalkan kesan yang mendalam dalam diri saya... saya sentiasa mengingatkan diri agar tidak mengulangi kesilapan yang saya pernah lakukan....pada pendapat saya, kesilapan yang kita pernah lakukan tidak akan sia-sia jika dijadikan peringatan dalam kehidupan.. kadangkala, saya merasa ada kekosongan dalam jiwa saya... saya sendiri tidak pasti apa yang saya ingin capai dalam hidup ini... terasa seperti hidup dalam keadaan yang terumbang-ambing...saya agak sibuk dengan akademik dan aktiviti persatuan pada minggu lalu dan minggu ini saya ingin fokus kepada akademik sahaja...mungkin mimpi yang saya alami disebabkan fikiran saya yang agak terganggu sejak akhir-akhir ini...saya banyak berfikir dan banyak mempersoalkan tentang perkara yang saya telah lakukan...fikiran saya amat bercelaru...sehingga saya merasakan semua yang saya lakukan serba tidak kena...emosi saya bertukar dengan sekelip mata...ada ketikanya saya rasa teramat gembira dan berasa pilu tanpa saya sedari...adakah saya terlalu kritis dalam menilai diri saya sendiri?

Friday, August 13, 2010

Horrible Dream!

sangat menakutkan! harap-harap tidak jadi kenyataan. kenapa la boleh mimpi macam tu? tiada mimpi lain sudah? mungkin ini la padahnya sambung tidur @ tidur selepas baru bangun. leher hampir terseliuh sebab mimpi yang menakutkan itu. isk... terasa macam mahu menangis. adakah sejarah akan berulang? walaupun apa yang saya miliki sekarang bukanlah kemewahan, tetapi saya masih bersyukur dan selesa begini. jauhkanlah saya dari segala niat jahat dan pemikiran yang tidak baik.

*suddenly want to post in BM...don't laugh k? the grammar is 'tunggang terbalik'...hahahha*

Thursday, August 12, 2010

1 Aug, 4Aug, 9Aug, 11Aug 2006

1August 2006 - there was a diagnostic test in school...and I was one of the CHOSEN student that being tested. I guess my absenteeism is one of the main factor that lead to this CHOSEN group. not forgotten, my sleeping schedule in class. still remember that time. my friends are panicked because they were CHOSEN to do the test. so funny. and during this date, also decided to leave my current BF to be with someone else. sound like I'm a BAD girl here. but why want to force yourself to stay if the feeling is not for him anymore?

4August 2006 - currently on mode"MISS".hahah... not the previous BF, but the guy that I had been crazy off...hahah.. I follow my heart and I take a risk. he is so different(for me). from my diary writing, it remind me that how crazy I am that time... *wink2*

9August 2006 - my friend Hamaliah, birthday....happy birthday mummy kipit~~:p..heard from my friend that during the day I escaped from Razz, my previous BF so pissed and make chaos at there..so surprised! in my diary, i also wrote that I'm in the mode of 'BINGUNG'..cannot remember what it is..;p

11August 2006 - hahahaha...35days of absent! no wonder I'm CHOSEN !*buduh!*