Drama

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. I wish that how I felt. I just can't hide, the fool that I am." 

I'm really fool. I try to say I'm not but it shows in my face. I'm just sick and tired of the drama. But I can feel that I'm drama queen. Such a contradicting state. 

To hurt and be hurt

Its easy to start and take you forever to end it. Its pathetic to use lame excuses too. The worst when you put the lame excuses to yourself too. This has to stop but I dont know how to end all these! I'm sorry. Truly sorry. This is happening over and over again. When I started these, I truly dont have the intention to hurt. And I dont have the gut to tell you that. Please give me some time to gain strength and gut to tell you. My indeciveness is killing me too.

P/S: this is why I like to run or away from anyone I know. Its the matter of time when I have the strength to tell or just hoping it will go away by itself. Feel so irresponsible. :'(

First time

Last night reached KL around 8pm. So tired. On the way to Plaza Rakyat, saw a blind and crippled man. So I gave few cent, stingy? That was the only ceiling that I grabbed spontaneously. Well, maybe its too little. I'm still feel guilty. Went to KL Sentral, stopped by a man saying that he lost his wallet and need money to go back hometown. I don't have much money in hand but I thought that it will be too sad if you are not able to go back to your hometown for Chinese New Year. So, I gave him some money and bought a tiket for him to Bandar Tasek Selatan. Funny thing is, he ask for my number but I forgot to ask his number. In conclusion, I might not get back the money. Hopefully he reached his hometown safely for Chinese New Year. As for me? Currently at Seremban, playing this explore game to fetch my brother at Kem PDS Resort Pasir Panjang. Too fussy! But nevermind, I never been to Seremban and Port Dickson, so this is my first time here. Good luck and all the best for me. Till then, bye diary. :)

Another random

I've been writing like almost everyday now. Its not a long post, nor informative. I just want to write something that crossed my mind. Or anything that linger within me.

Today, Saturday. Everyone is going back to their hometown or house to eat with family. Gathering with family and have dinner together. Well, not for me. I'm Chinese by name and looks, my race is Kadazan/Dusun and currently doesn't celebrate any particular religious celebration. Religion, not yet decided. So, every public holiday is nothing particular for me. (Unless my birthday is declared as public holiday. Hahahahah) My mother celebrate Hari Raya, my father celebrate Chinese New Year and Christmas and we enjoying all the public holiday in Malaysia. I'm the product of Malaysia mix of culture. I'm a Sabahan, came from village, grow up in village, have a rough characteristic and kinda 'cincai' in my appearance. Comfortable versing in Bahasa Melayu, sucks at Mandarin, understand Kadazan/Dusun language (understand can be different level for each person and I regard myself as slightly below average) and zero in Chinese dialects. Currently staying at Penang, studying and now doing my internship at an awesome company. Okay, how do I end up explaining all these? Randomly typed. 

Currently I'm inside a moving bus, now at Penang bridge and on my way to Kuala Lumpur. Just now I mumble here just to kill time before the bus is moving. Now its

Moving, my sleep time! ;)

Freaked out

I'm scared. Fantasy can be fatal. My wild fantasy become wilder. I can even imagine it in real situation. Fantasy is fun. But when I awake from the fantasy, I freak out. What is happening to me?!? Arghhhh..

Masih menumpang

Malam kedua dibilik jiran. Harini kerja tidak siap. Minta tunda, dpt extra 1 hari. Harap2 boleh siap. Rasa xpuas hati kerja lambat siap. Apakan daya, sudah cuba sehabis daya. Terasa macam mo sakit pun ada. Bertahan la badan. Banyak kerja lagi ni. Yosh! Tidur dulu. :)

P/S: bukan mo generalisasi, tapi apasal la kamu bising sangat? Tensi tau mendengar celotehan kamu yg kuat dan memekak. Aishhh. Ini boleh membawa marah.

Menumpang

Malam ni tidur di bilik jiran dari Korea. Wohoooo. Dia sangat peramah! :) Kenapa tiba2 dibilik jiran? Well, bilik da macam sarang pelarian. Hahahah. Terlalu ramai. Sian la kalau mo suruh Pah tidur bilik jiran, dia tetamu kot. So xpa la, demi kawan stay la bilik jiran. Cuma dia ni pasang kipas slow betul. Panas! Hahaha. Okey, jangan merungut. Orang sudah bagi tumpang ni kira okey lah ni. Terima kasih jiran! ;)

P/S: harini tunggu Pah habis kerja di Starbucks. Gigih mengemas. Hohoho. Menikmati Green Tea Soy Latte dan menghabiskan beberapa chapter buku cerita. Harini plan mo schedule kerja tergendala. Besok pagi la schedule masa di opis. Sekian. (Adoi, topik pun belum buat rupanya. Sandi! Banyak pula homework tertunggak, chaits!)

Hari pertama

Hari pertama kerja dan sangat sibuk! Belajar banyak benda baru. Bekerja depan komputer Mac mmg ausem, tp agak kaku dan jakun. Hahahahah. Laman sosial banyak dipelajari harini. Bukan Facebook atau Twitter, tapi laman sosial lain. Agak menarik dan sekiranya sy tidak bekerja ditempat baru, mungkin tidak berpeluang untuk mengetahuinya. Laman sosial Pinterest dan Indulgy bakal menjadi laman kesukaan. Tumblr suda pernah dengar tp tidak pernah cuba lagi. Banyak benda2 comel! *kyaaaa~* hahahahah. Okay la, harus tidur. Hari ini merupakan hari yang panjang tapi amat menyeronokkan. Baru hari pertama, rilek la. Ada 6bulan untuk belajar bermacam2 benda. Selamat malam dunia.

P/S: harini xmau sayang2. Lagu lain pula. "Hari semakin gelap, ucap selamat malam. Ucapkan selamat kepada alam. Semoga esok lebih baik dr semalam. Selamat malam, selamat malam. " (SSSk ft Otam - Selamat Malam)

Sempat lagi~

Jam menunjukkan jam 2am dan masih belum tidur, memang cari pasal lah. Siang nanti hari pertama internship. Semoga diberikan kekuatan dan ketabahan dalam menempuhi hari mendatang. Semoga diberikan petunjuk dan juga bimbingan dalam menghadapi latihan industri. Selamat malam dunia dan selamat malam sayang.

P/S: teringat lagu Shae - Sayang. "Sayang apa khabar denganmu? Disini kumerindukan kamu." "Sayang dengarlah permintaanku, jangan ragukan cintaku. Sayang percayalah apa kataku, kerna ku menyayangimu." Okay, sekarang semakin rajin bersayang-sayang. Hahahaha. Love you there! ;)

*golek guling*

Urghhh.. Serius! Sakit kepala! Jam sudah 1pm, tapi masih diatas katil. Okay, satu panggilan telefon berjaya buat saya bangun dari katil. Tapi sudah kembali bermalasan. Kepala sangat sakit, semalam mahu tidur awal tapi sakit kepala yang teruk! :'(

Apa yang mo cerita ni? Tiada juga. Rasa boring ni dalam bilik. Haishhhh. Bosan! Bosan! Bosan! Lapar! Eh?! Hahahaha. Okaylah, mari lah bangun. P shopping lagi, di Tesco. Kekekeke..

Catatan pendek

Hello, sekarang berada di USM. Dukacitanya mengatakan bahawa diri tidak sempat pergi ke kuburan arwah nenek saya. Semoga dia aman dan tenang disana. Dan semoga rohnya ditempatkan dikalangan orang yang beriman.

Malam kedua berada di USM. Agak penat sebab petang tadi pergi beli-belah pakaian untuk masuk kerja. Memang banyak jualan murah! Agak cerewet masa membeli tadi. Tapi objektif tercapai. Besok sambung aktiviti merealisasikan objektif yang tidak tercapai hari ini * semoga masih ada hari esok untuk diri*. Menyedari beberapa perkara hari ini dan sedikit mengejutkan. Cepat sungguh proses pembesaran, susah nak cari baju yang menepati selera dan mempunyai saiz yang sesuai. Hahahaha. Sekian sahaja untuk malam ini. Selamat malam. :)

P/s: tidak jadi pergi Muar. So, bolehlah mengambil masa untuk berehat dan santai. Selamat malam sayang. Jangan bimbang, faham dengan kesibukkan. Tidak meminta semua masa untuk dilayan tapi jangan menimbulkan prasangka, tidak baik untuk kesihatan dan hubungan. ;)